Katherine ‘Kat’ Torbick, a 43-year-old nurse and mother from Schaumburg, Illinois. Prosecutors allege that her former boyfriend, Kevin Motykie, subjected her to a prolonged assault that was captured on a recording device found after his arrest. Authorities allege the recording lasted more than seven hours and documented arguments, restraint, violence, and ultimately her death. He has… Read More Seven hour recording
The concept of coercive control is most closely associated with Evan Stark, a sociologist and forensic social worker whose research helped shift understanding of domestic abuse beyond physical violence alone. When Stark described coercive control as a “liberty crime,” he was making the point that the harm is not only the assaults or threats themselves.… Read More Liberty crime
Coercive control is often misunderstood because many people imagine abuse as a series of isolated violent incidents. In reality, coercive control is usually a pattern of domination that gradually strips away a person’s freedom, confidence, independence, and sense of self. 1. The abuse develops gradually The relationship may start with affection, attention, promises, and emotional connection. Control… Read More The abuse develops gradually
This case is currently before the courts, so it is important to distinguish between allegations made by prosecutors and findings that have been proven. According to evidence presented at a trial in Nottingham Crown Court, prosecutors allege that Kimberley Thompson endured years of domestic abuse, including physical violence, coercive control, surveillance, intimidation, and sexual abuse… Read More Husband ‘raped and strangled’ ex-wife before”staging scene’ to look like suicide,
Beauty and cruelty are not simply about appearance. In psychology and neuroscience, the qualities that make someone beautiful “inside and out” are usually linked to empathy, emotional regulation, kindness, integrity, and healthy relationships. Cruelty and sadism are often associated with low empathy, entitlement, hostility, unresolved trauma, personality disorders, or learned patterns of domination and control.… Read More Beautiful Person vs Cruel Person
People often imagine that the decision to leave an unhealthy relationship comes after one dramatic event. In reality, it is often the accumulation of hundreds, even thousands, of moments. A wet towel left on the floor. Dirty clothes scattered around the house. Toenail clippings left where someone else has to clean them up. A toilet… Read More The Moment You Realise You Should Have Left Years Ago
One of the strangest parts of healing is that you don’t always realise how unhealthy your situation was until you leave it behind. When you live in an environment for decades, it becomes your normal. You adapt. You make excuses. You lower your expectations. You tell yourself that all relationships are difficult, that everyone has… Read More When You Finally Meet Healthy People
A friend once described my situation as being like peeling back the layers of an onion. At first, I thought that if I looked hard enough, asked enough questions, and tried hard enough to understand, I would eventually find the truth. I believed there had to be a reason for the behaviour, a hidden explanation… Read More The Rotten Onion
I think I will cry with relief when I finally get my own home again. Not because it’s bricks and mortar. Not because it’s an investment. Not because it’s a status symbol. But because it represents something far more valuable: Freedom. For decades, I lived under the shadow of threats. If I did something wrong,… Read More Freedom
There comes a point in life when we all have to stop blaming, stop making excuses, stop explaining away uncomfortable realities, and take a long, honest look in the mirror. Not a quick glance at the surface. A deep look. An honest look. A courageous look. Many parents struggle to understand why their adult children… Read More The Mirror We Often Avoid Looking Into
Linda C J Turner | Trauma Therapist & Emotional Healing Specialist 