Eight months ago, I took a step that changed my life — I walked away from abuse. I didn’t know then how I would manage. For weeks, I doubted myself. There were moments when I honestly believed I would go back. But then I asked myself the hardest question of all: Go back to what?More control?… Read More Eight Months On: A Letter to Anyone Wondering If Life Gets Better After Abuse
A compassionate guide for those learning to trust again 🌱 Stage 1: From Survival to Awareness Therapeutic Focus: Psychoeducation + CompassionGoal: Understand trauma responses and reduce self-blame. Common Signs: Practices: Journal Prompt: “When did I first learn that love required silence or sacrifice? What would I say to that version of me now?” 🌊 Stage 2: From Numbness to… Read More “From Trauma to Love: A Healing Map for the Heart”
The transition from trauma to love is not a straight line—it’s a tender, spiraling journey that unfolds layer by layer. It’s like walking out of a dense, dark forest into sunlight you’re not sure you can trust at first. Your eyes squint. Your heart hesitates. But slowly, step by step, the warmth begins to sink… Read More From Survival to Awareness
When you’ve come out of a long-term abusive relationship, the idea of “real love” can feel foreign, even suspicious at first. Your nervous system has been conditioned to associate love with fear, control, walking on eggshells, or constantly proving your worth. But real love—healthy, respectful, and nurturing love—feels profoundly different. It’s not fireworks and chaos.… Read More “Real Love”
The Haunting Realization That Abusers Often Mean What They Say — Even When We Don’t Believe Them I never used to believe his constant threats — not fully. During and after every argument, he’d say something cruel, controlling, or frightening. At the time, I told myself, “He’s just angry. He doesn’t really mean it.” I brushed it… Read More “He Didn’t Just Say It. He Meant Every Word.”
Compiling a song list feeling good.
“Someone in the family knows people in Glasgow who can sort this.”“He’s been to prison — he knows people who can handle things.” These aren’t just casual comments.These are coercive threats.And if you’ve heard anything like this — you need to protect yourself. 🔍 Let’s Call It What It Is: Intimidation by Proxy When abusers or their relatives invoke other… Read More 🚨 When They Say They “Know Dangerous People” – It’s Not a Joke, It’s a Threat 🚨
“Money is no object.”“I know people who will handle this.”“Others in the family have connections.” If these phrases sound familiar, you are not alone — and you are not paranoid. These are classic escalation tactics used by an abuser who feels their grip on you slipping. When control is lost, threats become their weapon of last… Read More 🚨 The Most Dangerous Time: When the Abuser Loses Control 🚨
In the landscape of intimate partnerships, financial decisions ideally reflect mutual respect, shared goals, and equitable planning. But in many relationships — especially those marked by psychological or emotional abuse — money becomes a tool of control, manipulation, and power. When a partner leverages financial dependence, inheritance, or pensions to assert dominance, the consequences can… Read More “Just You Wait and See What Happens When I Die”: The Psychology of Financial Control in Intimate Relationships
Linda C J Turner | Trauma Therapist & Emotional Healing Specialist 