248 days ago, my world was cracked open by the final blow — not just a moment of pain, but a turning point. A line in the sand. A silent promise to myself that things had to change. I didn’t know then how I’d survive it, let alone how I would heal. But here I am — not… Read More 248 Days Later: A Letter to the Woman I’ve Become
There’s a moment, often hard to believe will ever come, when the weight of trauma begins to lift—not because you force it away, but because you are finally held in a way that feels safe. It’s a moment where the past no longer chains you, where your body stops bracing and freezing, and instead, you melt into… Read More Feeling Alive Again: When Trauma Melts Away in the Arms of Someone Who Truly Sees You
When someone responds to your experience of abuse with judgment, condescension, or a moral high ground, they are not actually engaging with your reality.They are defending theirs. They are protecting the illusion — of the “good” brother, father, son, or uncle. They are shielding the family name, their own egos, their denial.Often, they can’t handle the… Read More Righteousness is a Defence Mechanism — Not a Bridge to Understanding
People often ask survivors of trauma, “Are you afraid of all men?”And my answer is simple: No.I’m not afraid of all men.I’m afraid of one man. That fear isn’t irrational — it’s a lived, embodied response to abuse, manipulation, and violence. But here’s the difference: I’ve done the work. I’ve sat in therapy rooms, spoken my truth out… Read More “No, I’m Not Afraid of All Men – Just One. And That’s OK.”
🗣️ Saying the Right Thing Means Nothing If You Do NothingPolite concern without action is just another form of silence. When I finally told someone what had happened — that I’d been strangled, pinned to a wall, terrified for my life — I wasn’t looking for a parade. I wasn’t asking for a rescue mission.I… Read More Silence
🧠 “You Never Forget the Look in Their Eyes…”A Psychological Perspective on Strangulation, Entrapment, and the False Promises That Follow There are some moments that never leave you.Not because you’re holding a grudge —but because your body will never let you forget what it survived. You never forget the look in their eyes when you’re pinned… Read More 🧠 “You Never Forget the Look in Their Eyes…”
🌬️ Healing After Non-Fatal Strangulation: When the Nervous System Remembers What the Mind Tries to ForgetBecause just because you survived it doesn’t mean your body has. Many survivors of strangulation don’t realize right away how deeply it affected them.They minimize it, brush it off, or say, “But he didn’t leave a mark.”“It was over in seconds.”“I’m fine… Read More 🧠 Strangulation Is a Trauma Stored in the Nervous System
🛑 Let’s Call It What It Is: Strangulation Is an Attempt to Kill.It is not a loss of control. It is the ultimate act of control. Strangulation is not a “heated moment.”It’s not a “fight that went too far.”It is not “choking.” Let’s be absolutely clear: Strangulation is putting your hands around someone’s throat and squeezing with… Read More Strangulation Is an Attempt to Kill.
I’m often asked:“What’s the difference between strangulation and choking?”And the truth is — there’s a huge difference. While these terms are often used interchangeably in everyday conversation — even in the media — they are not the same thing. In fact, confusing the two can be incredibly dangerous, especially for survivors of domestic violence. 🚫 Let’s be clear: Choking is accidental.… Read More 🔍 Strangulation vs. Choking — Why Words Matter Because calling it what it is could save a life.
✨ When the Body Says: “Here, You Are Safe”Understanding the Psychology Behind Somatic Responses to Safety and Connection Not all attraction is trauma.Not every intense feeling is lust.Sometimes, what you’re feeling in your body — that melt, that ache, that magnetic pull — is your nervous system finally exhaling. 💡 Because when you’ve lived in survival… Read More ✨ When the Body Says: “Here, You Are Safe”
Linda C J Turner | Trauma Therapist & Emotional Healing Specialist 