Author: Linda C J Turner

Linda CJ Turner Trauma & Relationship Specialist | Neuroscience & Emotional Regulation | Women 45+ | Emotional Abuse & Coercive Control Recovery You survived it. Now it’s time to heal from it.

Children Learn From What We Do, Not What We Say

Children are far more perceptive than many adults give them credit for. They notice inconsistencies. They observe how people treat one another, how conflict is handled, whether apologies are genuine, and whether actions match words. Neuroscience and developmental psychology have shown that children learn through observation. Psychologist Albert Bandura demonstrated that children imitate behaviours they… Read More Children Learn From What We Do, Not What We Say

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Breaking the Cycle: What Children Really Learn

Intergenerational trauma is not simply about what happens to one generation—it is about the patterns of behaviour, relationships, and emotional responses that are passed from one generation to the next. Neuroscience tells us that a child’s brain is shaped by repeated experiences. Through a process known as experience-dependent neuroplasticity, the developing brain builds neural pathways based… Read More Breaking the Cycle: What Children Really Learn

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“Get Over It” Is Not Healing—Healthy Families Break the Cycle

Children and grandchildren learn far more from what they observe than from what they are told. Neuroscience and psychology consistently show that young people develop their understanding of relationships by watching the adults around them. When families remain trapped in anger, resentment, hostility, and unresolved conflict for years or even decades, the next generation absorbs… Read More “Get Over It” Is Not Healing—Healthy Families Break the Cycle

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When Children Are Drawn Into Abuse and Coercive Control

One of the most damaging aspects of domestic abuse is when children or grandchildren become involved in adult conflicts. Whether intentionally or unintentionally, placing children in the middle of abusive dynamics can have lasting psychological consequences. Triangulation occurs when a third person—often a child—is drawn into a conflict between adults. This can involve carrying messages, taking… Read More When Children Are Drawn Into Abuse and Coercive Control

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Triangulation

Using a child or grandchild to conceal, excuse, or distract from abusive behaviour is deeply troubling. Children should never be placed in the middle of adult conflict or used to protect someone’s reputation or avoid accountability. Psychologists recognise this as a form of triangulation—bringing a third person, often a child, into a conflict to influence, manipulate,… Read More Triangulation

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Five Moves. One Pattern. The Neuroscience and Psychology of Carrying Everything Alone.

As I prepare for my fifth and final move, I’m struck by something I hadn’t fully appreciated before. I’ve spent decades moving homes. But more than that… I’ve spent decades moving almost entirely on my own. The first move was into his house. The second was into the home I bought myself. While I packed… Read More Five Moves. One Pattern. The Neuroscience and Psychology of Carrying Everything Alone.

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Three Boxes of Self-Help Books: Thirty Years Spent Trying to Fix a Marriage That Was Never Mine to Fix

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner

As I prepare for my final move, I have been sorting through decades of paperwork. Among the boxes were three large cartons filled with self-help books. Books on relationships. Communication. Trauma. Psychology. Neuroscience. Emotional intelligence. Attachment theory. Mindfulness. Marriage. Forgiveness. Conflict resolution. Thousands upon thousands of pages. Three decades of searching for answers. Three decades… Read More Three Boxes of Self-Help Books: Thirty Years Spent Trying to Fix a Marriage That Was Never Mine to Fix

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When will people understand?

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner

When will people understand? It’s not what you say.It’s not the promises you make.It’s not the image you try to project. It’s how you behave. It’s how you treat people when no one else is watching. Kindness.Respect.Honesty.Empathy.Patience.Laughter.Compassion.Consistency. These are the qualities that build trust and create lasting relationships. Empty words, broken promises, manipulation, threats, control,… Read More When will people understand?

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