Dorothy Vallens in Blue Velvet: When Violence, Control and Fear Become Entangled with Desire

An exploration of coercive control, psychological trauma, survival and the devastating consequences of having your autonomy taken away. Trauma & Emotional Abuse | Neuroscience & Emotional Regulation | Relationships & Recovery Dorothy Vallens, the lounge singer played by Isabella Rossellini in David Lynch’s Blue Velvet, is one of cinema’s haunting portrayals of a woman trapped in… Read More Dorothy Vallens in Blue Velvet: When Violence, Control and Fear Become Entangled with Desire

September 27, 2026 Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

Secondary Gains in Trauma Treatment: Understanding the Hidden Benefits of Staying Stuck

Secondary gains refer to the indirect benefits someone may experience from trauma, such as avoiding responsibilities or receiving support, which can complicate recovery. While these behaviors may seem beneficial, they often stem from a need for safety or emotional relief rather than manipulation. Therapy should focus on understanding the underlying needs these behaviors fulfill to promote healthy changes.… Read More Secondary Gains in Trauma Treatment: Understanding the Hidden Benefits of Staying Stuck

September 26, 2026 Linda C J Turner1 Comment

When You Wake Up Still Trying to Escape: The Neuroscience of Dreams After Emotional Abuse

Dreams of abusive ex-partners can evoke panic and feelings of helplessness, often mirroring past trauma of entrapment and emotional abuse. These nightmares reflect the brain’s processing of danger and the lingering impact of coercive control. While waking reality differs, persistent fear may signify unresolved emotional connections, necessitating compassionate self-reassurance and potentially seeking therapeutic help.… Read More When You Wake Up Still Trying to Escape: The Neuroscience of Dreams After Emotional Abuse

September 26, 2026 Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

When suspicion reflects their own standards

Dishonest individuals often project their own behaviors onto others, assuming everyone acts similarly. This projection leads to a distorted moral double standard, where they rationalize their dishonesty while condemning others for the same actions. Distinguishing between healthy discernment and chronic suspicion is crucial, as suspicion can stem from past trauma rather than actual deceit.… Read More When suspicion reflects their own standards

September 25, 2026September 25, 2026 Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

The Warning I Ignored: When Someone Takes Pride in Destroying Their Former Partner

The narrative highlights the significance of recognizing early warning signs in relationships, particularly through a recounting of emotional abuse. The author reflects on a past conversation that foreshadowed their own experience with similar behavior when attempting to leave a relationship. Ultimately, it emphasizes the importance of understanding patterns of abuse and the consequences of one’s actions.… Read More The Warning I Ignored: When Someone Takes Pride in Destroying Their Former Partner

September 23, 2026September 23, 2026 Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

When Someone Who Hurt You Becomes Seriously Ill

There are situations in life for which there are no simple emotions. What happens when someone who caused you enormous suffering becomes seriously ill? What happens when you know that person is frightened, vulnerable or struggling emotionally, perhaps even expressing that they no longer want to live? You may feel compassion. You may feel sadness.… Read More When Someone Who Hurt You Becomes Seriously Ill

September 23, 2026 Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

Why I Do This Work: Experience, Empathy and Professional Understanding

I don’t do this work out of pity. I do it because I understand. For decades, I have worked with people experiencing emotional pain, difficult relationships, trauma and periods in their lives when they have felt unseen, unheard or misunderstood. Over those years, I have learned something that has stayed with me: People don’t always… Read More Why I Do This Work: Experience, Empathy and Professional Understanding

September 21, 2026September 22, 2026 Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

When You Finally Ask the Family for Help: The Psychology of Silence, Denial and Cover-Up Around Abuse

Sometimes the person experiencing abuse eventually reaches out When you have lived for years feeling that there is no way out, there may come a point when you finally confide in someone close to your partner. You may not even be asking them to confront the person. You may simply be hoping for one thing:… Read More When You Finally Ask the Family for Help: The Psychology of Silence, Denial and Cover-Up Around Abuse

September 21, 2026September 23, 2026 Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

The People Who Disappeared: How Coercive Control Can Slowly Remove Your Support Network

Sometimes you don’t realise you have been isolated until you look back One of the most frightening things about prolonged coercive control is that isolation does not always look like isolation. There may be no moment when someone says: “You are no longer allowed to have friends.” Instead, people gradually disappear. A friend becomes someone… Read More The People Who Disappeared: How Coercive Control Can Slowly Remove Your Support Network

September 21, 2026September 22, 2026 Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

When Everyone Else Can See the Danger: Why People Can Stay Even When They Are Being Offered a Way Out

Sometimes, looking back, the question can be painfully difficult: “Why didn’t I leave when people were telling me I was in danger?” You may remember the moments clearly. Your doctor asked questions that made you realise he was concerned. Your psychologist repeatedly questioned your partner’s behaviour and history. Your doctor was shocked that the situation… Read More When Everyone Else Can See the Danger: Why People Can Stay Even When They Are Being Offered a Way Out