When the Professionals Tell You to Leave: Why You Should Listen to the Warning Signs

When a doctor tells you once that they are concerned about your safety, you may dismiss it. When they tell you twice, you may begin to wonder. When they tell you three times—and your psychologist is also repeatedly advising you to leave—it is time to stop and listen. Not because professionals know everything about your… Read More When the Professionals Tell You to Leave: Why You Should Listen to the Warning Signs

Couple friendships can become a closed social system

There is quite a lot going on psychologically when a woman who has been part of a couple for many years suddenly becomes single through divorce, separation or bereavement. The painful part is that she may lose not only her partner, but an entire social structure. There are several overlapping psychological and neuroscience mechanisms behind this.… Read More Couple friendships can become a closed social system

When Families Keep the Truth Hidden: How Secrecy Can Protect Abuse

Sometimes the person who caused the abuse is not the only person who keeps the truth hidden. Families can become part of the silence. They may minimise what happened. They may rewrite the history. They may describe violence as “marital problems”, “arguments” or “something between the couple”. They may insist that nobody should talk about… Read More When Families Keep the Truth Hidden: How Secrecy Can Protect Abuse

When the Past Is a Pattern: Should a New Partner Be Told About a History of Violence and Abuse?

There is a difference between having a past and having a pattern. Everyone comes into a new relationship with history. Previous relationships, mistakes, regrets, disappointments and difficult experiences are part of being human. But what happens when someone’s history includes violence and abuse across two marriages spanning decades? What if there have been convictions for physical violence?… Read More When the Past Is a Pattern: Should a New Partner Be Told About a History of Violence and Abuse?

Coming Clean: Telling a New Partner About a History of Abuse, Violence or Restraining-Order Breaches

Starting a new relationship usually involves gradually getting to know one another. You talk about your past, your family, your previous relationships, your hopes, your mistakes and the experiences that have shaped you. But what happens when someone’s past includes convictions for domestic abuse, physical violence, threats or breaking restraining orders? At what point should a… Read More Coming Clean: Telling a New Partner About a History of Abuse, Violence or Restraining-Order Breaches

Breaking a Restraining Order: Why a Breach Can Be a Serious Criminal Matter

A restraining order is not a suggestion. It is a court-ordered legal restriction designed to protect a person from further contact, harassment, intimidation, approach or violence. When a person deliberately breaks that order, the breach can become a new criminal offence in its own right. This is particularly important in cases involving domestic abuse, physical violence, threats or… Read More Breaking a Restraining Order: Why a Breach Can Be a Serious Criminal Matter

Restraining/protection order imposed because of physical violence

Restraining/protection order imposed because of physical violence, and the person then broke that order, that is potentially a significant criminal matter in both Spain and the UK. The exact offence and maximum penalty depend on the type of order and the circumstances. 🇪🇸 Spain In Spain, breaching a judicial restraining order can constitute quebrantamiento de condena under… Read More Restraining/protection order imposed because of physical violence

What does “moral turpitude” mean?

Crimes involving moral turpitude (CIMT) is a legal term, most commonly encountered in U.S. immigration law, although the concept can also arise in professional licensing and other legal contexts. It does not simply mean that a person has behaved badly or immorally. What does “moral turpitude” mean? In U.S. immigration law, the term has no single statutory definition. Case… Read More What does “moral turpitude” mean?

The Art of a Good Conversation: Why Being Heard Matters

The difference between a good conversation and a forgettable one often comes down to something surprisingly simple: Were you actually listening? Not listening while planning what you are going to say next.Not waiting for your opportunity to tell your own story.Not subtly steering the conversation back towards yourself. Actually listening. Being present enough to notice… Read More The Art of a Good Conversation: Why Being Heard Matters

When You Don’t See What Others See: The Neuroscience of Self-Perception, Trauma and Being Seen

Have you ever been told something about yourself repeatedly, yet somehow never really seen it yourself? Perhaps friends have said: “When you walk into a room, people notice you.” “Men are always looking at you.” “You don’t realise how attractive you are.” You may have dismissed it, laughed it off or simply not understood what… Read More When You Don’t See What Others See: The Neuroscience of Self-Perception, Trauma and Being Seen