This questionnaire is not about making a decision today.
It’s about clarity.
Answer each question with Yes / Sometimes / No.
Safety First
- Do I feel emotionally safe in this relationship?
- Am I ever afraid of their reactions — anger, withdrawal, punishment, retaliation?
- Has my sense of safety decreased over time?
- Do I feel more at peace when they are not around?
Effort vs Outcome
- Have I clearly communicated my needs and concerns?
- Have I tried to adapt, explain, compromise, or improve — repeatedly?
- Despite this, do the same issues keep returning?
- Do I feel exhausted from trying to make it work?
Change & Accountability
- When harm is raised, is it acknowledged without minimising or blame?
- Do apologies come with sustained change — not short-lived promises?
- Is responsibility shared, or do I carry it alone?
- Am I asked to tolerate behaviour that hurts me?
Impact on You
- Am I more confident, relaxed, and myself than before?
- Or more anxious, self-doubting, guarded, or numb?
- Have I lost parts of myself to keep the peace?
- Do I feel respected — consistently?
Boundaries
- Are my boundaries honoured without resistance or retaliation?
- Can I say no without consequences?
- Do I feel free to be honest — or do I manage myself carefully?
- Have my boundaries become smaller over time?
Love vs Fear
- Am I staying because of love — or fear?
- Fear of being alone?
- Fear of financial or practical consequences?
- Fear of their reaction if I leave?
- Fear of starting over?
Future Reality Check
- If nothing changed, could I live like this for five more years?
- Would I want this relationship for someone I love?
- Does staying align with my values — or compromise them?
- Does leaving feel painful but honest?
Quiet Interpretation
- If safety, respect, or dignity are missing → staying is self-abandonment.
- If effort is one-sided and change doesn’t follow accountability → the pattern is the answer.
- If leaving feels frightening but relieving → your nervous system may already know.
You do not leave because you didn’t try hard enough.
You leave when staying requires you to betray yourself.
There is no failure in choosing yourself.
