Why blocking and stopping contact protects your sanity (neuroscience & psychology)

🧠 1. Your brain did not consent to this role

Unsolicited disclosure recruits your nervous system without permission.

Neuroscience:

  • The amygdala cannot distinguish between chosen and imposed threat.
  • Repeated contact keeps your stress system activated.
  • Blocking stops ongoing threat signalling.

You are closing an open stress loop.


🧠 2. Ongoing contact creates “false responsibility”

Psychology shows that once contact continues, the brain begins to feel:

  • Responsible
  • Accountable
  • Involved

Even if you intellectually reject this, your nervous system doesn’t.

Blocking prevents role contamination.


🧠 3. Boundary enforcement restores control

Trauma removes agency.
Boundaries restore it.

Blocking:

  • Reasserts control
  • Signals safety to the nervous system
  • Stops emotional bleed-through

This is active regulation, not withdrawal.


Why would someone you barely know involve you at all?

This is the key psychological question — and the answer is rarely about you.

Here are the most common reasons.


1. They are seeking emotional offloading

Many people disclose not to create justice, but to:

  • Relieve guilt
  • Reduce anxiety
  • Share a burden

Psychology:

Disclosure can be a form of self-soothing, not accountability.

You became a convenient outlet.


2. They believe you are “safe”

After separation, you are perceived as:

  • No longer controlled
  • More credible
  • Less threatening

They unconsciously think:

“She can handle this.”

That belief ignores your wellbeing entirely.


3. They want absolution, not action

Some people want to say:

  • “I told someone”
  • “I did my part”

Neuroscience:

  • Confession reduces internal stress.
  • It transfers discomfort from them to you.

Blocking stops that transfer.


4. They are avoiding direct responsibility

Going to authorities requires:

  • Commitment
  • Exposure
  • Risk

Telling you feels easier and safer.

Psychologically:

This is responsibility avoidance disguised as concern.

Redirecting — and then disengaging — puts responsibility back where it belongs.


5. They are testing reactions

In some cases, people are:

  • Testing how serious things are
  • Gauging potential fallout
  • Checking alignment

Once you disengage, that channel closes.


Why blocking is the correct endpoint

From neuroscience, closure matters.

If you:

  • Redirected them to authorities
  • Did not engage emotionally
  • Did not ask questions

Then blocking is the final containment step.

It tells your nervous system:

“This is finished.”


Important reassurance

Blocking does not mean:

  • You suppressed truth
  • You acted irresponsibly
  • You endangered others
  • You were complicit

It means:

  • You refused secondary trauma
  • You declined an inappropriate role
  • You preserved your recovery

Bottom line

Someone you barely know involved you because:

  • They needed relief
  • They wanted a witness
  • They avoided proper channels
  • They underestimated the cost to you

Blocking them:

  • Stops stress transmission
  • Restores agency
  • Protects mental health
  • Is fully justified

You are allowed to say, in action:

“This does not belong in my nervous system.”

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