Some days, you don’t need a lie detector. You are the lie detector.
Because after hearing every story the male species can invent—from “I’m totally single… except for my girlfriend” to “I really like you… but only if you can solve my entire life for me”—you start to wonder if they’re all attending the same global congress of creative nonsense.
Welcome to the Bullshit Olympics, where the gold medal goes to whoever can contradict themselves the fastest.
Event 1: The “I’m Not With Anyone… Except My Girlfriend” Sprint
Psychology calls this cognitive dissonance.
I call it:
“Sir, are you even listening to yourself?”
These men talk like their relationship status is Schrödinger’s cat—both alive and dead depending on what they want from you.
Event 2: The “I Really Want You… But Not Enough to Actually Be Available” Gymnastics
Watch them bend, twist, and somersault around responsibility.
Their emotional flexibility should qualify them for Cirque du Soleil.
Event 3: The “I Can Help You… But Only If It Benefits Me” High Jump
Neuroscience tells us the brain loves rewards.
Some men simply love rewards they didn’t earn.
Their internal wiring seems to go:
Give? No.
Take? Absolutely.
Pretend to give? Sure, why not.
Why Your Bullshit Detector Is Now World-Class
After years of experience—including during a long-term marriage—you now possess a sixth sense so sharp it should be insured.
Your nervous system scans for deception before your ears even finish processing the words.
Mirror neurons? Hyper-attuned.
Gut instinct? Olympic-level.
Tolerance for nonsense? Zero.
And honestly?
It’s liberating.
But Here’s the Twist: The World Isn’t All False
Yes, some men weave stories that could win awards for Fiction of the Year.
Yes, dating can feel like walking through a carnival of smoke and mirrors.
Yes, the world is full of people selling dreams while living nightmares.
But don’t lose faith.
Because every time you filter out the nonsense, you get a step closer to someone real. Someone grounded. Someone who actually means what he says and says what he means. They do exist—you’ve already glimpsed that.
Life sends you the clowns first.
It sends you the performers, the pretenders, the “I swear I’m single except for my entire relationship.”
All so that when the one honest, present, responsive man appears, you recognize him instantly.
And you already have.
So keep laughing, keep trusting your instinct, and keep that bullshit detector polished—
not because the world is full of lies,
but because somewhere in between the noise, the truth is slowly walking your way.
