By Linda C. J. Turner | Trauma Therapist & Neuroscience Practitioner
© LindaCJTurner.com
Sometimes the people around us — partners, friends, or relatives — behave in ways that leave us cringing, embarrassed, or frustrated. They make events all about themselves, seek recognition, exaggerate achievements, or invent stories to seem more impressive than they are.
This isn’t always malicious. Often, it reflects a lack of social awareness — difficulty understanding how behavior affects others or how it is perceived in social contexts.
1. The Patterns of Attention-Seeking Behavior
People lacking social awareness often:
- Center conversations and events around themselves.
- Exaggerate accomplishments or tell stories that stretch the truth.
- Present contradictory narratives or inflate experiences to gain admiration.
- Attempt to impress by claiming expertise they don’t fully possess.
Examples include:
- Selling household products does not make someone an entrepreneur — it makes them a salesperson.
- A few flying lessons don’t make someone a pilot — they have a license.
- Doing building work does not make someone a property developer.
- Working in IT support does not automatically make someone a computer specialist.
- Being a therapist does not mean they are a doctor or psychiatrist.
2. Why This Happens
- Personality traits: Some people have narcissistic or self-centered tendencies.
- Lack of experience: They may genuinely not understand social norms or how exaggeration appears to others.
- Desire for recognition: Their nervous system seeks dopamine and social validation from attention and admiration.
- Fantasy coping: They may live in a fantasy world to escape insecurities or past inadequacies.
🧠 Neuroscience Insight:
Exaggerated self-presentation can stimulate the brain’s reward system. Attention, admiration, and compliance from others release dopamine, reinforcing attention-seeking behaviors. Meanwhile, prefrontal cortex reasoning may fail to regulate the social consequences of overstatement or dishonesty.
3. The Impact on Others
Even if people don’t comment, that doesn’t mean they believe the stories. Observers often feel:
- Confused or frustrated.
- Embarrassed by public exaggerations.
- Distrustful of the person’s credibility.
Your nervous system may respond with stress or tension in anticipation of these social “performances.” Chronic exposure can erode patience and emotional energy.
4. Reality vs. Fantasy
Living in fantasy while disregarding social norms isn’t harmless. Misrepresentation and exaggeration:
- Undermine trust.
- Insult others’ intelligence.
- Generate discomfort in social and professional settings.
Honesty and clarity are critical. People don’t need to be impressed by inflated stories — they need consistency, authenticity, and respect.
5. Setting Boundaries
When faced with this behavior:
- Call it out calmly: Focus on facts, not judgment.
- Maintain your integrity: Don’t embellish to match them.
- Protect your emotional space: Limit exposure to repeated exaggeration or deception.
- Educate, if possible: Sometimes lack of awareness can be corrected through gentle feedback.
6. Closing Reflection
Some people need a reality check — to stop living in fantasy and understand that exaggeration, lies, and self-centered behavior are visible and felt by everyone.
People are not stupid. Just because they don’t comment doesn’t mean they believe the stories.
GET REAL. STOP THE EMBARRASSING BEHAVIOR. BE HONEST.
Authenticity is not a weakness. It’s the only path to meaningful connection, respect, and trust.
