Reclaiming the inner locus of control means taking back your sense of personal power—the belief that you have the ability to influence your life, your responses, and your future, instead of feeling like everything is determined by external forces, other people, or “fate.”
It’s a psychological concept rooted in Rotter’s Locus of Control Theory (1966), which distinguishes between:
- Internal locus of control: Belief that your actions, decisions, and mindset play a major role in shaping outcomes.
- External locus of control: Belief that luck, circumstances, other people, or forces beyond your control determine your life.
Why Reclaiming It Matters
After trauma, toxic relationships, or repeated disappointments, people often lose their internal locus of control. They may start to feel powerless, waiting for life to “happen” to them. This can lead to:
- Chronic self-doubt
- Anxiety and helplessness
- Over-reliance on others for decisions or validation
Reclaiming it is a key part of emotional healing because it restores your agency—your ability to act and create change.
What Reclaiming Looks Like in Practice
It’s not about denying that external events affect you—life does throw curveballs. It’s about recognizing where you still have influence. That means:
- Owning your choices
- Asking: What can I do right now to improve this? instead of “Why does this always happen to me?”
- Shifting self-talk
- Replacing “I can’t do anything about it” with “I can choose how to respond.”
- Setting boundaries
- Not waiting for others to respect your limits—you actively communicate and enforce them.
- Taking small, consistent action
- Even if you can’t change everything, you focus on what you can change today.
- Evaluating what’s in your control
- Differentiating between your circle of control (thoughts, actions, habits) and your circle of concern (other people’s behavior, the past, random chance).
The Emotional Shift
When you reclaim your inner locus of control, you:
- Feel more grounded and confident.
- Respond instead of react.
- See challenges as opportunities to adapt rather than hopeless barriers.
- Stop outsourcing your happiness or self-worth to other people.
