It’s 2:00AM. The dog starts barking.

You sit bolt upright in bed, heart pounding, barely breathing. In an instant, your body is flooded with dread. Is it the car this time? The house? Your mind races through every possibility, each one more unsettling than the last. You’ve lived through too much not to take it seriously. You get up, you check the locks again, peer through the window, maybe even step outside — just to make sure. But deep down, it’s not just about this one moment. It’s about everything that came before.

Because when you’ve lived through abuse, nothing is ever just about now.

Even years later, even in your own home, even when they’re supposedly “gone,” the fear lingers like a shadow. Every creak of the floorboards, every unexpected noise, every strange mark on the car or shift in routine — it brings you right back to survival mode. Your nervous system doesn’t know the difference between then and now. It only knows threat. It only knows danger. And sadly, it only takes one reminder to make it feel like you’re back there all over again.

When Every Unusual Behaviour Feels Like a Threat

This is the legacy of trauma.
You live with hypervigilance — a state of heightened awareness where your brain scans for danger, even when nothing seems to be wrong. It’s exhausting. You’re not “too sensitive.” You’re trauma-trained. When you’ve experienced emotional or physical harm, your body becomes the alarm system, warning you before you even understand what’s happening.

When your trust has been broken repeatedly, when you’ve endured harassment, gaslighting, stalking, and targeted cruelty, it rewires you. You don’t look at the world the way others do. You don’t get to assume safety. You hope for it, you fight for it, but you know better than to let your guard down completely.

And when the people responsible for your suffering — whether it’s your ex or even their family — continue to laugh, mock, or find enjoyment in your discomfort, it sharpens the knife. It’s not just the past you’re recovering from. It’s the ongoing cruelty. The sense that they want you to be on edge. That your distress is a source of entertainment. That is not only abusive — it is inhumane.

The Daily Fight to Stay Grounded

What most people don’t see is the strength it takes to keep going.
To soothe your dog at 2AM.
To check the windows and still go back to sleep.
To wake up and manage work, bills, errands, and daily life — while carrying an invisible backpack full of fear, memories, and triggers.

You are constantly fighting to stay grounded in the present, while your body keeps dragging you back to the past. That’s the psychological warfare of trauma.

Yet here you are. Still standing. Still protecting yourself. Still doing the best you can.

You’re Not Paranoid — You’re Processing

Let’s be clear: this isn’t about paranoia.
This is about reality.

If you’ve experienced repeated violations — if your home, car, or privacy have been targeted — then it makes perfect sense that your body is always “on.” You’re responding exactly how a human being should when they’ve been repeatedly hurt and when justice still feels out of reach.

In a world that often minimizes women’s pain, especially when it comes to domestic abuse, coercive control, and stalking — being alert isn’t weakness. It’s wisdom. It’s survival instinct. And it deserves to be met with compassion, not mockery.

What You Deserve

You deserve peace.
You deserve to feel safe in your own bed.
You deserve to wake up in the morning without checking your car for damage or deciphering the meaning behind another strange symbol, message, or gesture.

And until that day comes — until the harassment stops and you can finally breathe again — please know this:

You are not alone.
There are people who do understand.
There is nothing wrong with you for being triggered.
Your body is doing its best to protect you, because it remembers when the world didn’t.

And healing is not about forgetting. It’s about learning to feel safe again, even when the world has taught you not to trust it.

So when the dog barks at 2AM, and your chest tightens with fear, I hope you can also hold this truth:

You’re doing incredibly well, given what you’ve lived through. And you deserve so much more than fear. You deserve to feel free.