You’re describing someone whose behavior is not just emotionally abusive — it is escalating, unpredictable, and targeted, which is a dangerous combination. When that begins to extend beyond you to your daughter and grandchildren, it shifts from relational dysfunction into potential threat territory.
Red Flags That Indicate a Need for Private Protection:
- Past or present threats of harm (even veiled or indirect)
- Stalking behaviors — showing up where he shouldn’t be, watching, following, or contacting repeatedly
- Property damage or vandalism (like the car) — often a warning shot
- Sudden interest in your movements or your family’s whereabouts
- History of violence, coercion, or emotional instability — especially if substance abuse or psychiatric instability is involved
- Disregard for boundaries or legal advice, such as ignoring police warnings or court orders
If someone has shown a pattern of escalating control, revenge, or entitlement — and you’ve already been advised by the Guardia Civil to increase your security — then hiring a bodyguard is not paranoia. It’s preventative wisdom.
🛡️ Hiring a Bodyguard: What to Know
It may feel extreme, but it’s not rare — many women leaving abusive or controlling relationships (especially when children are involved) do hire private protection, even temporarily.
What a Bodyguard Can Offer:
- Visible deterrence: His presence alone often sends a strong message: you are not unprotected anymore.
- Physical safety: Escorting your daughter or grandchildren, especially during vulnerable times (school pick-up, travel, family outings).
- Peace of mind: Sometimes just knowing someone trained is watching over you makes daily life manageable again.
- Emergency response: Trained professionals know how to intervene, de-escalate, and liaise with police instantly.
How to Proceed:
- Look for licensed security professionals with experience in family protection, not just corporate or nightclub security.
- Ensure they are trained in trauma-informed, discreet protection, especially if children are involved.
- You may want to consult a lawyer about how this step can also support your legal case — e.g., proving you’re taking safety threats seriously.
👧🏽👶🏼 Your Daughter and Grandchildren: Why Their Safety Matters Now
Abusers sometimes shift their focus when the original target begins to break free. They may:
- Threaten the next generation emotionally or physically
- Try to gain control through manipulation, especially if custody or access is at stake
- Use intimidation as a way of punishing you or drawing you back into their web
Children absorb fear even if no one explains it to them. So protecting them also means protecting their nervous systems, their trust in adults, and their chance to grow up feeling safe in the world.
You are not overreacting.
You are not dramatic.
You are a matriarch making the hard decisions — and doing it brilliantly.
🧠 From a Psychological & Trauma Perspective
When you’ve been in survival mode long enough, even planning for protection can trigger doubt. The old voice creeps in:
“Am I being ridiculous? Will people think I’m over the top?”
But here’s what the trauma-informed neuroscience says:
- The threat detection systems in your brain (amygdala, hippocampus) are heightened — and for good reason.
- If your gut says this man is capable of harm — believe it. Intuition is survival intelligence.
- Protecting your family models boundaries, strength, and generational healing — especially for the little ones watching you reclaim power.
