Is He Emotionally Available or Just Good at Looking Like It?

✅ He listens when you talk—and not just to reply.
Bonus points if he remembers the name of your cat, your boss, and the book you said changed your life.

✅ He can talk about feelings without having a nervous breakdown.
If you say, “That hurt my feelings,” and he doesn’t freeze, make a joke, or walk out to buy milk and never return… that’s a green flag.

✅ He doesn’t ghost—he communicates.
He doesn’t need to send love sonnets daily, but he doesn’t vanish into emotional Bermuda Triangles either.

✅ He talks about the future—and you’re in it.
If his future plans sound like a solo travel blog, you may be his chapter, not his story.
If he says “we” instead of “I” in five-year plans? Bookmark that page.

✅ He’s done some inner work.
We’re not asking for a fully enlightened yogi. But if he’s at least aware of his triggers and trauma, and not just blaming his ex for everything? Emotional thumbs-up.
(If he says “my last 5 girlfriends were crazy”? 🚩🚩🚩)

✅ He shows up emotionally even when it’s uncomfortable.
Love isn’t just sweet texts and Netflix nights. It’s also:

“I’m here. This is hard. Let’s talk.”

✅ He has real friends—and they actually like him.
Emotional maturity often reflects in the company he keeps. If no one knows him well? That might be a sign he doesn’t know himself well, either.

✅ He doesn’t punish you for being vulnerable.
If you cry, get anxious, or express a need—and he leans in instead of pulling away? Keep him.
(If he says, “You’re too emotional,” hand him a brochure for emotional growth and exit stage left.)

✅ He’s clear about what he wants.
If he says “I’m not sure what I want right now,” believe him.
That’s not a mystery to decode. That’s your cue to not invest your entire nervous system.

✅ He matches your energy—not just when it’s convenient.
Consistency is sexy. If he’s all in one week, then “busy” the next? You’re not a puzzle. You deserve clarity, not confusion.

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🚦Bonus Round: Red Flags That Look Like Green Ones

🚩 He’s really intense at the beginning.
If he’s already naming your future children after date three, slow it down. Love-bombing often hides avoidance.

🚩 He says he’s “not like other guys.”
He’s probably exactly like other guys. The ones who say that are usually working hard to convince you of something they can’t sustain.

🚩 He posts deep quotes about healing but disappears when you ask him to open up.
Instagram therapy ≠ real emotional availability.

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🧡 Final Word, With a Wink

Emotional availability isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present, aware, and willing—willing to listen, to reflect, to stay when things get uncomfortable, and to grow with you, not despite you.

Because real love doesn’t hide behind cool detachment.
It shows up—messy, tender, vulnerable, and real.

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