❌ How Many Times Should You Forgive Someone Who Has Physically Abused You?

Let’s be clear: You shouldn’t.

When abuse becomes physical, it becomes dangerous. Life-threatening. Non-negotiable.

I speak from lived experience — not theory, not speculation.
And I’m here to tell you the hard truth many don’t want to say out loud:

Physical abuse doesn’t just “happen.”

It escalates.

  • First time: a push or a shove. You’re shocked, rattled, confused.
  • Second time: a hit or a slap. They say it was the drink, the stress, your fault.
  • Third time: a violent attempt to break your bones — a door slammed on your hand, a boot to your body.
  • Fourth time: strangulation. A moment where your life flashes before your eyes.
  • Fifth time? There may not be one. You may not survive it.

Do not wait for it to “get better.”

Do not wait for them to change.
Do not wait for someone to say it’s okay to leave.

It’s okay now.

Forgiveness is a spiritual principle, yes — but when it comes to physical abuse, forgiveness cannot mean staying. It cannot mean risking your life to preserve someone else’s comfort or your own fear of what comes next.

Abuse is not a mistake. It’s a pattern.

And while society might tell you to “see the good,” “be the bigger person,” or “give them another chance” — I am telling you this:

You only get one life. Don’t spend it being someone’s punching bag.


🚨 You Don’t Owe an Abuser Anything

Not forgiveness.
Not silence.
Not another opportunity to harm you.

What you do owe — is yourself.

  • Safety.
  • Sanity.
  • A future you survive to live.

❤️ From Someone Who’s Been There

I forgave the first time.
I doubted myself the second time.
I blamed myself the third time.
By the fourth time, I knew I was in danger.
By the grace of something bigger, I made it out.

Not everyone does.

So please — if you’re reading this, and you’re in the early stages, or you’ve already seen the pattern play out…
Let this be the permission you don’t think you deserve:

You can leave. You don’t need one more reason. One more hit. One more apology.

You are enough.
You are allowed to walk away.
And you are allowed to stay away — without guilt.


#NoMoreChances #EndTheCycle #DomesticAbuseAwareness #SurvivorTruths #TraumaTherapist #NotOneMoreTime #YouDeserveSafety

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