After years of chaos, the ordinary feels extraordinary

I’ve just spent 10 days in the UK surrounded by my beautiful family — and for the first time in what feels like forever, I experienced what real family life actually looks and feels like.

Not forced.
Not for show.
Not walking on eggshells.
Just pure, unfiltered laughter and love.

No tension. No pretending. No silent withdrawals. No fake smiles for the outside world.
Just easy conversation, warm hugs, spontaneous giggles, and that sweet, familiar feeling of being seen and accepted — without conditions.

And the more time I spend surrounded by emotionally healthy, grounded, kind people…
the more I realise how far I had drifted from normal.
How “La La Land” had become my reality — a distorted, emotionally exhausting world dressed up as a dream but built on control, blame, and aggression.

Sure, I travelled.
But guess what? I would’ve travelled anyway.
I paid for everything.
I organised everything.
He needed me more than I ever needed him.
But somewhere along the way, I forgot that truth. I forgot myself.

I was once confident. Self-sufficient. Full of life and curiosity.
But over time, every trip, every outing, every so-called “special moment” was tainted — by criticism, conflict, or that creeping sense that it was never quite safe to just be.

Now, everything is different.
Not because I’ve found someone to fund me —
but because I’m surrounded by something far more valuable:

Emotional wealth.

Kindness.
Softness.
Warmth.
A gentle presence.
A smile that reaches the eyes.
A soft touch that doesn’t turn cold behind closed doors.
Real intimacy — in both private and public — not just for image or impression.

For the first time in decades, I don’t feel tolerated.
I feel cherished.
Not used.
Held.

And that changes everything.

To anyone still wondering if this kind of peace exists — it does.
But it’s not found in a fantasy or a performance.
It’s found in healing. In truth. In surrounding yourself with genuine hearts, not grand illusions.

Sometimes we don’t realise how unhealthy things were…
until we feel the absence of tension.
Until we feel safe.

And when we do — when love becomes easy, not exhausting — we begin to breathe again.
To laugh again.
To live again.

And let me tell you, life on this side of healing?
It’s soft.
It’s calm.
It’s real.

And I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

✨💛