For Survivors Facing Ongoing Harassment or Retaliation
✨ This is not your fault. Their behavior is a reflection of their dysfunction—not your worth.
You have every right to feel safe, protected, and supported.
⚠️ Immediate Safety Measures
✅ Document the Incident (Every Time)
- Take clear photos of any damage or unusual activity (car, home, belongings, etc.)
- Note date, time, and location
- Write down what happened, who was around, and how it connects to known patterns
- Include any witness names
✅ Report to Authorities
- File a police report (e.g., Guardia Civil in Spain)
- Keep a record of the case number
- Share your suspicion if you believe you know who did it—stick to facts, not accusations
✅ Secure Your Home & Property
- Install cameras or motion detectors (visible ones act as deterrents)
- Upgrade locks or add bolt-on door reinforcements
- Consider a GPS tracker or dash cam for your vehicle
- Alert a trusted neighbor or friend to keep an eye out
✅ Protect Pets & Loved Ones
- Make sure pets are microchipped and registered
- If you’re away from home, arrange for someone to check on your animals
- Never leave them outside unattended if threats have been made
✅ Create a Trusted Emergency Circle
- Identify 2–3 trusted people you can call or alert in an emergency
- Give one person a copy of your keys and important documents
- Let them know if you feel unsafe or notice patterns escalating
🧠 Emotional Sanity Toolkit
✅ Ground Yourself After an Incident
- Breathe in for 4, hold for 4, breathe out for 6
- Say to yourself: “I am safe now. I have support. This fear is from a past pattern—I am not alone this time.”
- Move your body (walk, stretch, shake) to release adrenaline
✅ Create a “Truth File”
- Write down the history of abusive behavior
- Include screenshots, messages, court records, therapy notes
- Use it to remind yourself: “I am not imagining this. There is a pattern.”
✅ Affirm Your Power
- “I am not responsible for someone else’s lack of control.”
- “I trust myself to respond with wisdom and strength.”
- “They are not in charge of my life anymore.”
- “Fear is a signal, not a sentence.”
✅ Limit Exposure to Triggers
- Block or restrict known flying monkeys (mutual friends, nosy relatives, etc.)
- Set social media to private
- Don’t respond to baiting or messages that pull you back into drama
✅ Have a “Peace Plan” for the Day After
- Book something calming: therapy, massage, lunch with a friend
- Stay off social media if it spirals you
- Reward yourself with something kind and soft
(Your nervous system deserves gentleness after shock)
📝 Legal & Protective Planning
✅ Keep a Harassment Log
Use a notebook or document with:
- Date/time
- Description of the event
- Who else was present
- Whether police or others were notified
This can be used in future legal proceedings or restraining order applications.
✅ Review Restraining Order or Legal Boundaries
If you don’t yet have one and threats escalate, begin speaking with legal counsel or domestic violence advocates.
✅ Talk to a Therapist or Advocate
You deserve support. You don’t have to carry this burden alone.
Look for trauma-informed specialists who understand post-separation abuse.
❤️ For Your Spirit
🌿 What’s happening is not fair—but you are not powerless.
🌿 You did the bravest thing of all: You left.
🌿 And no matter how they act, you still win when you stay rooted in peace, strength, and clarity.
