By Linda C J Turner Therapy
Therapist | Survivor Advocate | Emotional Recovery Specialist
Introduction: This Isn’t Love — It’s Psychological Warfare
Some people don’t want closure.
They don’t want healing.
They want control.
And when the relationship ends — whether it was romantic, familial, or social — they don’t move on. They shift tactics. The abuse becomes invisible, digital, and psychologically invasive.
They play mind games for kicks, stalk your online presence, monitor your friendships, and try to unnerve you with subtle signs that say: “I’m still here. I’m still watching.”
This is not a coincidence.
It’s not flattering.
It’s psychological abuse, and it’s deeply damaging.
1. The Psychology Behind Online Stalking and Head Games
People who engage in post-breakup stalking and digital mind games often share certain traits rooted in narcissism, control, insecurity, or sadistic gratification.
These individuals may:
- Feel entitled to continued access to you
- React with rage when you reclaim autonomy
- Derive satisfaction from watching you squirm or stay silent
- Use social media to create a false narrative — both about you and themselves
It’s about power, not closure.
They’re not curious — they’re controlling.
They’re not haunted — they’re hunting.
2. Why It Feels So Violating
Even if the abuse is “only online,” the nervous system doesn’t know the difference.
If you feel constantly watched, second-guess what you post, or sense someone pulling strings behind the scenes — that’s real psychological harm.
The trauma response is triggered. You may experience:
- Heightened anxiety or hypervigilance
- Trouble sleeping or concentrating
- Reluctance to post on social media
- A deep sense of unease or paranoia
This is not irrational. It’s your body’s way of saying:
“Something’s not safe here.”
3. The Link to Emotional Abuse and Narcissistic Behaviour
Online stalking is often a continuation of the emotional abuse experienced during the relationship. It’s covert, passive-aggressive, and often hard to prove — but it’s very real.
For abusers, it serves several functions:
- Maintaining emotional control
- Preventing full closure
- Feeding their ego
- Re-activating your trauma loop
They may even manipulate mutual friends, sow doubt, or perform a “charming” version of themselves online to confuse your reality — a classic tactic of narcissistic abuse.
4. What You Can Do to Reclaim Your Space
💡 You’re not powerless.
Here are real, actionable ways to protect your peace:
- Block or mute: This is not petty. It’s self-preservation.
- Limit visibility: Tighten privacy settings or use close-friends features.
- Document everything: Save screenshots and messages, especially if the behavior becomes threatening.
- Speak your truth (safely): Whether online or in therapy, your story matters.
- Rebuild safety in your nervous system: Work with a trauma-informed professional who understands the overlap between digital harassment and emotional trauma.
5. Remember: You Don’t Owe Anyone Access to You
If someone uses digital spaces to keep hurting you, undermining your peace, or intimidating you — that is not your fault. You do not need to justify your silence, your blocks, your boundaries.
The fact that they’re watching is not a reflection of your worth.
It’s a reflection of their inability to let go without control.
Peace is your birthright. So is privacy. So is freedom.
Let them watch.
You’re not playing anymore.
Support and Resources
If you or someone you know is experiencing digital stalking or emotional abuse, reach out to a trauma-informed therapist or support group. Emotional abuse doesn’t always leave visible bruises — but the scars are just as real.
📌 Contact Linda C J Turner Therapy
💬 DM or email for trauma support, therapy, or advocacy
🌐 www.lindacjturner.com
