In a perfect world, truth would speak for itself.
But in the courtroom — especially in cases involving abuse, coercive control, or post-separation harassment — truth needs evidence.
It needs paper trails, photos, dates, and documentation. Because sadly, abusers lie — and some will do so under oath.
If you’re preparing for a divorce or a criminal case and you have experienced dishonesty, manipulation, or broken legal boundaries, here’s a powerful truth:
👉 Old evidence is still evidence.
👉 Lying under oath is a crime.
👉 Breaking a restraining order is not a “mistake” — it’s criminal.
Let’s walk through how to gather, organize, and protect your case — and your peace of mind.
🧾 1. Broken Restraining Orders Are a Big Deal
If your ex has breached a restraining order — even once — it is vital to document and report it.
🔐 What Counts As a Breach?
- Calling, texting, emailing you (directly or through others)
- Showing up where they were legally forbidden to be (your home, workplace, school)
- Sending gifts, leaving notes, or using children to pass messages
- Contacting you via social media or fake accounts
- Stalking behavior — online or offline
📸 What to Collect:
- Screenshots of messages, calls, or online contact (with date/time)
- Photos or videos of them violating the order (e.g., driving by your house)
- Witness statements
- Police reports documenting the breach
Tip: Even if the breach happened months ago or in another country — it still counts. Bring everything to court. Patterns matter.
⚖️ 2. Lying in Court Is Perjury — and It’s Serious
Perjury (lying under oath) is a criminal offense in many jurisdictions. While it can be difficult to prosecute, proving consistent dishonesty can damage their credibility and bolster your case — whether it’s for divorce, custody, or criminal charges.
🧩 Examples of Perjury in Abuse Cases:
- Lying about where they live
- Denying ownership of a vehicle, business, or asset
- Claiming you were never abused, when there are reports or photos
- Providing false bank details or denying accounts
- Giving false statements about car rentals, travel, or locations
- Accusing you of things they know are untrue
🧠 3. Old Reports Still Matter
Many survivors believe that if a report is years old or comes from another country, it won’t be accepted in court. That’s not true.
📚 Bring:
- 🏥 Hospital reports: especially if injuries were related to domestic violence or psychological breakdowns
- 🧠 Psychologists’ reports: outlining PTSD, emotional trauma, or patterns of coercive control
- 👮 Police reports: even if the case was dropped, it still documents behavior
- 🩺 Doctors’ records: of stress, physical injury, sleep disorders, substance use caused by the relationship
Reminder: These reports build a timeline. Courts don’t just look at what happened last week — they consider long-term patterns.
🔍 4. Gathering & Organizing Your Evidence
📂 What to Include:
- Court documents (applications, affidavits, restraining orders)
- Photos of injuries, damaged property, unsafe environments
- Copies of emails, texts, DMs, WhatsApp messages
- Voice notes or call recordings (if legal in your area)
- Social media screenshots (posts, comments, likes, location tags)
- Car rental or travel documents with conflicting claims
- Proof of bank accounts or spending hidden from you
- Statements from friends, family, colleagues, therapists
Tip: Sort everything by category and date. Create a timeline. Keep a backup copy online and another on an encrypted USB.
💡 5. The Power of Pattern
Most abusers don’t just lie once — they lie strategically and repeatedly. They create confusion, chaos, and contradiction to destabilize you and cloud the truth.
But truth has a quiet strength. When documented properly, a pattern emerges:
- Lies become visible.
- Their contradictions pile up.
- Your story becomes clearer.
💬 Final Thoughts: The Courtroom Is Not the End
Going through court — whether for divorce or criminal accountability — is emotionally exhausting. But every email you save, every report you submit, and every line you speak in truth builds your freedom.
You are not being dramatic.
You are not being vindictive.
You are being strategic, truthful, and brave.
Even if they lied.
Even if they charmed the room.
Even if they said it’s “just in your head.”
Evidence doesn’t lie.
