A psychological and trauma-informed guide to help you move forward with clarity, compassion, and confidence.
1. 🧠 Emotional Readiness & Self-Awareness
- Am I entering this new connection from a place of healing, or am I still seeking comfort from old wounds?
- What have I learned about myself and my needs from the past relationship?
- Have I rebuilt a sense of self-worth that is no longer dependent on another person’s validation?
2. 🧘♀️ Nervous System & Somatic Awareness
- Does this person feel emotionally safe in my body — not just exciting?
- Can I be myself around them without walking on eggshells or shrinking parts of me to maintain peace?
- Do I notice any red flags in my body (e.g., tension, anxiety, dread) when I’m around them, and am I willing to listen to those signals?
3. 🧱 Boundaries & Assertiveness
- Do I feel confident expressing my needs, feelings, and boundaries without fear of retaliation or emotional withdrawal?
- Am I able to say “no” or “not yet” without guilt?
- How does this person respond when I assert boundaries — do they respect them or try to override them?
4. 🎭 Patterns & Triggers
- Are there any patterns from my past (e.g., people-pleasing, fawning, anxious attachment) showing up in this new connection?
- Am I attracted to this person because they feel familiar… or because they feel healthy?
- Have I noticed any early signs of control, emotional unavailability, or manipulation that resemble past dynamics?
5. 🫶 Trust, Control & Autonomy
- Can I trust myself to walk away if I notice this relationship becoming harmful?
- Does this person encourage my independence, friendships, hobbies, and personal goals?
- Do I feel free in this relationship, or do I already feel emotionally monitored or controlled?
6. 🧩 Communication & Repair
- Can we have difficult conversations without fear, stonewalling, or emotional punishment?
- Is there emotional honesty in this relationship — or is there confusion, gaslighting, or inconsistency?
- Are repair attempts made when conflict occurs, or does one of us shut down or escalate?
7. 🕊️ Healing & Support
- Have I had enough time to grieve, process, and heal from my last relationship?
- Am I in a place where I can give and receive love from a place of wholeness, not trauma-bonding?
- Do I have a support system, therapist, or safe person I can speak to if doubts or concerns arise?
8. 🌱 Intentions & Alignment
- What kind of relationship do I want, and does this person’s values and actions align with that vision?
- Do we both value emotional safety, mutual respect, and personal growth?
- Am I willing to take things slowly, even if I feel tempted to rush in?
9. ❤️ Self-Compassion & Reassurance
- Can I forgive myself for whatever I tolerated in the past, and offer myself the love I once sought externally?
- What can I do to ground myself when I feel anxious or unsure?
- Am I remembering that I am worthy of love that doesn’t hurt?
💬 Final Journal Prompt:
“How can I bring the lessons of my past into this new chapter, not as baggage, but as wisdom?”
— Linda C J Turner
Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment
