When another woman told me,
“If you can’t put up with it, maybe it’s time to move on,”
I didn’t just hear dismissiveness.
I heard a message passed down through generations:
“Endure it. Stay silent. Don’t disrupt the family.”
And I thought to myself:
Let’s just hope it’s not her daughter one day.
Or her niece.
Or her granddaughter.
Let’s hope they never have to hear those same words —
brushed off, diminished, told that pain is just part of the deal.
Because when you minimize another woman’s abuse,
when you silence her with shame or judgement,
when you tell her to “move on” instead of move to safety,
you’re not only failing her —
you’re feeding the same cycle that may one day devour the women you love.
🚨 Abuse Doesn’t Knock on Just One Door
Domestic violence, coercive control, emotional manipulation, and financial abuse don’t just happen in broken homes or faraway places.
They happen in nice houses with white fences.
They happen behind the smiles of seemingly ‘normal’ families.
They happen to strong, smart, kind women who never imagined it would happen to them.
And when we excuse it, justify it, or tell someone to “put up with it,”
we are handing abusers a free pass.
We are reinforcing their power.
We are making it harder for the next woman to speak up.
🧠 Psychological + Neuroscience Insight: Why Words Matter
When survivors speak up, they are often in a fragile state.
Their nervous system is dysregulated.
Their brain is wired in survival mode.
🧠 The amygdala — the part of the brain responsible for detecting threat — is overactive.
🧠 The prefrontal cortex — responsible for logic and planning — is under strain.
🧠 Cortisol and adrenaline are flooding the body.
In this state, even a single sentence can either:
🔸 Pull them toward clarity,
or
🔸 Push them deeper into confusion and fear.
Saying, “Maybe you should just move on” is not neutral advice —
it’s a blow to someone already questioning their sanity, strength, and safety.
🌍 We’re Either Breaking Cycles — or Enabling Them
So next time you hear a woman’s story,
before you speak — pause.
Ask yourself:
“What if this was my daughter?
My sister?
My best friend?
What would I hope someone said to her?”
Because one day it might be.
And when that day comes,
you’ll want a world where women don’t stay silent.
Where survivors aren’t shamed.
Where someone stood up, spoke up, and said,
“You don’t have to put up with this.”
Let’s start being those women — now.
#BreakTheCycle #BelieveSurvivors #SilenceIsViolence #TraumaInformed #NeuroscienceOfAbuse #StandTogether #NoMoreExcuses #EndAbuse #HerFutureMatters #SharingIsCaring
— Linda C J Turner
Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment
