In the days leading up to a court case involving domestic abuse, you’d hope for dignity, reflection, or at the very least, silence. But when abusers and their enablers feel their power slipping, they often lash out in desperate attempts to maintain control. One of the most insidious ways this can manifest is through targeted defamation — a calculated smear campaign designed to humiliate and destabilize the victim right before they speak their truth.
In my own case, I received a malicious email just days before my court hearing. The message didn’t contain legal content or genuine questions — it was a vile attempt to shame and ridicule, and the message was littered with laughing emojis. This wasn’t just name-calling; it was weaponized emotional abuse. It was sent with a clear intent: to provoke, belittle, and cause psychological harm.
But this time, I didn’t flinch.
🚨 A Pattern of Threats and Blackmail
This wasn’t an isolated incident. Over time, numerous threatening, blackmailing, and defamatory emails have been sent — and all of them are now documented. The Guardia Civil, the Central Department of Women’s Protection in DĂ©nia (Central Mujer Ilegal Dept), my legal team, and two psychologists have reviewed and logged every single message. The pattern is clear: a deliberate attempt to discredit me, intimidate me, and emotionally destabilize me ahead of a court case in which the truth is finally being spoken.
🧠The Neuroscience of Emotional Abuse
From a neurological perspective, these tactics are designed to trigger a trauma response. When we receive threats or are subjected to shaming, our amygdala (the brain’s fear center) lights up, launching us into fight, flight, or freeze mode. This can impair our prefrontal cortex, the rational part of the brain we need to testify, stay grounded, and protect ourselves legally and emotionally.
Abusers know this — even if only subconsciously. Their goal is often to destabilize our nervous systems, not just our reputations.
But here’s the good news: once we understand this pattern, we can interrupt it. Trauma-informed therapy, grounding techniques, and strong psychological support help restore control over our nervous system. The emails might still come, but their power over us weakens.
🧠Psychological Projection and Smear Campaigns
Calling a woman derogatory names, especially ones tied to outdated or sexist tropes, is a classic case of projection — accusing the victim of behaviors or identities the abuser secretly fears in themselves. When abusive individuals lose control of their narrative, they often resort to smear campaigns to win allies, punish the victim, and create confusion. It’s a form of social gaslighting: “If I can make others laugh at you, maybe they won’t see what I’ve done.”
⚖️ The Importance of Documentation
If you’re going through something similar: document everything. Save the emails. Screenshot the texts. Tell your therapist. Report it to the authorities. These acts, while simple, form a paper trail of truth that courts and professionals can and do take seriously.
Abuse doesn’t always leave bruises — but emails like this are bruises in written form. They reveal intention, character, and cruelty. And when stacked against the abuser’s denials, they often speak louder than any defense they try to offer.
đź’Ş Reclaiming Power Through Exposure
I am not ashamed. I am not silenced. And I am not alone.
This behavior is a mirror reflecting who they are — not who I am.
By speaking out, I reclaim my voice, my dignity, and my safety. By continuing therapy, surrounding myself with truth-tellers, and working with the legal system, I am rebuilding not just a case — but a life.
To anyone facing the same — you are not weak for being targeted. You are strong for surviving it. Keep your records. Keep your boundaries. And keep walking through that courtroom door with your head held high.
#EmotionalAbuse #NeuroscienceOfTrauma #DefamationIsAbuse #HealingJourney #Justice #DomesticViolenceAwareness #StandStrong #PsychologicalAbuse #TraumaInformed
