By Linda C J Turner Therapy
Emotional Intelligence | Trauma-Informed Healing | Real Talk for Real Relationships
🌀 The Beginning Is a Beautiful Unknown
There’s a certain magic in new connections—the spark of possibility, the laughter you didn’t see coming, the late-night chats where you’re both just starting to peel back the layers.
But alongside the magic often comes a swirl of emotions:
Hope. Excitement. Caution. Doubt. Fear.
Especially if you’ve been hurt before, stepping into something new can feel less like butterflies and more like walking a tightrope without a net.
So what should you expect when you’re getting to know someone new?
Let’s talk about it—with honesty, warmth, and a little dose of self-trust.
1. 💡 Expect Uncertainty—Not Clarity Right Away
In the early stages, there’s often more unknown than known. That’s not a red flag—it’s just reality.
They’re learning you. You’re learning them. And no one shows up fully formed in week one.
The key is to stay curious, not assume, rush, or fill in the blanks too quickly.
Let things unfold. Pay attention to how you feel—not just when it’s romantic, but when it’s quiet, awkward, or imperfect.
2. 💬 Expect Communication Styles to Show Themselves
How often do they call or text? Are they clear or vague? Do they listen? Are they present?
Early communication often foreshadows future dynamics. Don’t just listen to their words—watch how they handle:
- Silence
- Boundaries
- Conflict
- Emotional honesty
Healthy beginnings aren’t about perfection. They’re about consistency.
3. 🛑 Expect Your Triggers to Wake Up—and That’s Okay
Especially if you’re healing from past emotional abuse, narcissism, or betrayal, the early stages of dating can stir old wounds.
You might find yourself:
- Overthinking their silences
- Bracing for rejection
- Comparing them to someone who hurt you
- Waiting for the “other shoe” to drop
Be kind to yourself. Your nervous system is trying to protect you. But remember: not everyone is your past.
Healing doesn’t mean you never get triggered. It means you learn to pause, reflect, and respond with self-trust.
4. 🌱 Expect the Need for Boundaries—Early and Often
Boundaries aren’t walls—they’re invitations to build safely.
Let them know what feels good.
Let them know what doesn’t.
If something feels off, say it.
If they respect it? That’s a green flag.
If they don’t? That’s all the clarity you need.
Love isn’t found in the absence of boundaries—it’s grown in the space they protect.
5. ❤️ Expect Joy, Even If It’s Scary
After years of stress, trauma, or emotional exhaustion, joy can feel unfamiliar. You might second-guess it, sabotage it, or try to control it.
But joy deserves room to breathe.
Let yourself laugh. Let yourself flirt. Let yourself enjoy the delicious chaos of discovery—without needing to know how it ends.
The beginning of something new is sacred. Don’t rush through it. Feel it. Live it. Let it teach you.
🔑 What Matters Most? How You Feel About You
When you’re getting to know someone new, the most important relationship isn’t with them—it’s with yourself.
- Are you grounded, even when they’re unpredictable?
- Are you honest about what you want?
- Are you anchored in your worth, even if they pull away?
Because real love doesn’t start when someone picks you.
It starts when you choose to stay connected to yourself, no matter what they do.
💬 Final Thought: You Deserve to Be Met Where You Stand
This new connection? It may bloom. It may fade. But either way, you’ll learn something beautiful.
You’ll learn about your boundaries.
You’ll learn about your growth.
You’ll learn about what your heart still dares to hope for.
And that is always worth stepping into.
— Linda C J Turner
Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment
