“Money is no object.”
“I know people who will handle this.”
“Others in the family have connections.”
If these phrases sound familiar, you are not alone — and you are not paranoid. These are classic escalation tactics used by an abuser who feels their grip on you slipping. When control is lost, threats become their weapon of last resort.
⚠️ The Psychology Behind It: Why They Get More Dangerous
An abuser who no longer has access to your life, your mind, or your body will do anything to regain that control. For them, it’s not about love, and it never was — it’s about power. When you stop responding, complying, or fearing them, they escalate. Why?
Because your resistance is a threat to their ego, their narrative, and their identity.
A psychologically unstable abuser may:
- Use intimidation through implication, not always direct threats.
- Invoke outside enforcers, like family members or vague “contacts.”
- Boast about money or influence, as a way to pressure or scare you.
- Say things like “you’ve got no idea who I know”, which is designed to destabilize and isolate you.
This behavior is rooted in narcissistic injury — the psychological rupture that happens when someone who thrives on dominance suddenly loses their power source. In their mind, your refusal, boundary, or escape is not just rejection — it’s an attack.
They don’t want reconciliation.
They want retaliation.
They want to make you pay for taking back your power.
🎯 Know This:
The moment an abuser talks about using others to “handle” you or the situation — whether they mean private investigators, lawyers, criminals, or family members — they’ve crossed a dangerous psychological threshold. This is no longer just manipulation. It’s coercive intimidation.
🛡️ How to Protect Yourself:
- Log Everything.
Any time threatening language is used, document it. Save messages. Record dates. Write summaries. Even vague threats like “you’ll be sorry” count. - Report It.
Do not dismiss or minimize what’s being said. Report it to the Guardia Civil, local police, or your country’s domestic violence authority. Even if they don’t act immediately, your report creates an official trail. - Tell Someone You Trust.
Do not suffer in silence. Share what was said with a therapist, a friend, a support group — someone who will take you seriously and help you stay grounded. - Avoid Direct Confrontation.
Never engage with threats. You’re not imagining the danger, but direct responses can escalate it further. - Restrict Their Access.
Block them on social media. Lock down your privacy settings. If needed, consult a lawyer about restraining orders or legal protections.
💬 A Final Word
When someone starts name-dropping their power, wealth, or “people who will handle things,” they are showing you exactly who they are. It’s a warning sign, not just a red flag.
Abusers escalate when they lose control. They no longer care about appearances — they care only about reestablishing dominance. And if they can’t do it through charm or coercion, they’ll try fear.
You are not crazy for being afraid.
You are not dramatic for taking precautions.
You are wise for protecting yourself.
✨ If you’ve walked away from abuse and are starting to hear threats, remember this: It’s not your fault they lost control — it’s their choice how they behave. And it’s your right to live in peace and safety.
Report. Document. Protect. Speak Out.
You are not alone — and you are not powerless.
#CoerciveControl #FinancialAbuse #DomesticViolenceAwareness #AbuseRecovery #TraumaHealing #OutOfControlAbuser #Gaslighting #PsychologicalAbuse #ProtectYourPeace
— Linda C J Turner
Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment
