Abuse doesn’t always end when the relationship does. Sometimes, it just takes on a new form—quieter, more covert, and far more insidious. It lurks in the shadows: behind fake accusations made to the courts, whispers to tax authorities, manipulations that turn family members against you, or strategic efforts to sabotage your livelihood. It’s a continuation of the same pattern—control, humiliation, and harm—just through different means.
It’s called post-separation abuse, and it’s real. It’s not just about what happens in the home; it’s what follows you out the door and tries to shatter every attempt you make at healing, rebuilding, and rising. From accusations of stalking and harassment to threats designed to instill fear, it becomes a campaign—a campaign not just against your freedom but against your success, your peace, your very identity.
These vindictive behaviors are not acts of justice or defense. They are acts of fear—fear of losing power, fear of being exposed, fear of watching you thrive.
To anyone facing this right now: it’s not your fault. You are not what they call you. You are not the problem. You are someone who had the courage to leave, the strength to survive, and the resilience to rebuild. And that power scares them.
I’ve often thought: “If you put half as much energy into being a good person as you do into being vindictive, you might actually be a happy one.” But here’s the truth—people who seek to destroy others rarely feel whole inside. When someone is determined to ruin what they can’t control, it’s not because you’ve done wrong. It’s because they see your strength, your growth, your light—and they can’t bear it.
But remember this: You don’t need to shrink to protect their ego. You don’t need to justify your success. Keep rising. Keep healing. Keep doing the beautiful, meaningful work of learning to love yourself again.
Because real love begins within. And no amount of sabotage can dim a soul that has learned to shine from within.
— Linda C J Turner
Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment
