For decades, I lived in a reality that many wouldn’t believe unless they saw the evidence — and I have reams of it. Decades worth. Letters from witnesses. Doctors’ reports. Police statements. Psychologists’ assessments. Pages of proof of undisclosed assets, hidden bank accounts, and a long-standing pattern of deceit and control.
While I went without.
While I made sacrifices.
While I worked hard to provide — not just for myself, but for him too.
I paid for my car which he made me sell. I paid for holidays. I clothed myself. I furnished our home — mostly with my daughter’s things and my own purchases. And on the rare occasion when I dared to treat myself to something beautiful — like a leather handbag bought with my own hard-earned money — he would try to claim the credit. To wear my joy as his own. To publicly perform generosity that wasn’t his.
This wasn’t a partnership. It was a long con wrapped in manipulation and projection. A man who contributed little for over three decades — yet constantly argued over money, demanded control over what wasn’t his, and now, in the final act, tries to take everything I’ve ever worked for. Including my dog.
From a psychological perspective, this is a textbook case of coercive control — a form of abuse that isn’t about love, but about power. Financial abuse is rarely about the money itself. It’s about entitlement, ownership, and keeping someone small enough so they don’t leave.
When someone lies about finances, hides assets, or makes you feel guilty for spending money you’ve earned, that’s not “just how they are” — that’s economic manipulation.
When they insert themselves into your wins and take credit for your efforts, that’s narcissistic behavior.
When they isolate you from access to resources, yet live a secret financial life behind your back, it’s not oversight — it’s calculated.
And when they deny and discredit your truth — especially during a divorce — while simultaneously trying to paint a new version of themselves to someone else (yes, I know about the girlfriend), it’s not about love or healing. It’s about image preservation and keeping their mask in place.
But masks always fall eventually. And I am no longer afraid of the fallout. I will not be silenced. I will not be gaslit into submission or erased from the truth.
Let it be known: I will not be holding back. Not when it comes to the evidence. Not when it comes to the truth. Not when it comes to the girlfriend’s timeline. Because truth matters — especially when the lies have been used as weapons for far too long.
To the man who has spent a lifetime chasing a pot of gold — I genuinely hope you find it. Because it’s painfully clear you’ve never found peace, love, or contentment. And you never will — not until you stop trying to possess everything around you, including people.
As for me? I’m free. I’m healing. I’m not afraid.
#FinancialAbuse #CoerciveControl #PsychologicalAbuse #KnowYourTruth #DivorceAndFreedom #EvidenceMatters #YouAreNotAlone #HealingOutLoud
— Linda C J Turner
Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment
