By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate
In domestic violence cases, there are specific warning signs that drastically increase the likelihood of serious injury or even homicide. These red flags aren’t just abstract possibilities—they’re based on empirical research, police data, and trauma-informed practice.
Understanding them is not about creating fear, but about empowering survivors and those around them with knowledge that can lead to timely intervention and protection.
🔥 High-Risk Factors in Domestic Violence
1. Strangulation or Attempted Strangulation
One of the strongest predictors of lethal violence.
- Even a single instance of non-fatal strangulation increases the risk of future homicide by 750%.
- It often signals the abuser’s comfort with crossing dangerous boundaries.
What to do:
Seek immediate help. Report the incident. Even if no visible injury is present, strangulation can cause delayed internal damage. Medical and legal intervention is essential.
2. Escalating Threats or Talk of Homicide or Suicide
- Threats like “If I can’t have you, no one will” are direct indicators of potential fatal outcomes.
- Suicidal threats that include the victim (“murder-suicide”) are particularly dangerous.
What to do:
Take all threats seriously. Never assume they’re just emotional outbursts. Create a safety plan, involve a support network, and alert authorities.
3. Access to or Obsession with Weapons
- An abuser with firearms or knives, especially when those items are used in threats, significantly raises the risk of lethal violence.
What to do:
Report the presence of weapons, especially if they’re illegal or used to intimidate. Work with authorities or legal aid to get restraining orders that include weapon removal where possible.
4. Stalking and Surveillance
- GPS tracking, hidden cameras, frequent “drive-bys,” or showing up uninvited are all indicators of obsessive control.
- Stalking behaviors are linked to the majority of domestic homicides.
What to do:
Document everything. Report stalking immediately. Use secure devices and consider changing passwords, routines, and locations when possible.
5. Forced Sexual Acts or Coercive Sex
- Sexual violence within an intimate partnership is an often-overlooked predictor of extreme harm.
- It indicates not just power, but a complete disregard for bodily autonomy.
What to do:
Speak with a sexual assault or trauma specialist. Many survivors struggle with shame and self-blame, but coercion is violence. Get medical care, support, and legal advice.
6. Controlling Behavior Over Finances, Travel, or Communication
- Isolation, financial abuse, and micromanagement are early and ongoing red flags.
- The more isolated a victim becomes, the more dangerous the situation is.
What to do:
Find ways to safely reconnect with outside support: friends, therapists, local services. Hidden emergency funds or escape plans can be crucial.
7. Recent Separation or Intent to Leave
- The most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when the victim tries to leave.
- Separation challenges the abuser’s power and often triggers retaliation or lethal violence.
What to do:
Never leave without a safety plan. Involve domestic violence organizations, law enforcement, and legal professionals. Leave when protective measures are in place.
8. History of Violence or Criminal Record
- Past behavior predicts future behavior. If the abuser has harmed others (or the victim) before, this will likely repeat.
What to do:
Run background checks. If you’re supporting someone else, encourage them to understand their partner’s history. Survivors sometimes minimize this due to love or trauma bonding.
9. Pet Abuse
- Abusers often harm or threaten pets to manipulate, terrorize, or control.
- This indicates the capacity for harm across all vulnerable targets.
What to do:
Reach out to shelters that allow pets or help place them in safety. Don’t underestimate this as a threat—it’s often symbolic and literal.
10. Obsessive Jealousy and Possessiveness
- Monitoring phone calls, accusing the victim of cheating, and needing to know their every move is a dangerous psychological marker.
- This “ownership” mindset leads to controlling and often fatal behavior.
What to do:
Understand that this isn’t love. It’s about possession. Professional help and emotional support can empower survivors to see this clearly and seek freedom.
🧠What the Neuroscience Tells Us
Neuroscience shows that domestic violence affects both the brain of the victim and the perpetrator:
- Perpetrators often show high reactivity in the amygdala (threat center) and poor regulation via the prefrontal cortex, meaning they act impulsively and lack empathy.
- Victims may develop complex PTSD, with disrupted hippocampal function (memory), overactive amygdala, and weakened ability to make safe decisions due to prolonged fear responses.
This is why survivors can freeze, fawn, or even return. Their nervous system is trying to survive.
Trauma therapy is essential for rewiring these survival patterns and restoring empowerment.
🛡 How to Deal With High-Risk Situations
🧠1. Create a Safety Plan
- Identify safe people and places.
- Memorize or write down emergency contacts.
- Keep a hidden bag with essentials (passport, cash, medications).
📱 2. Use Technology Wisely
- Turn off location tracking.
- Use incognito browsers or safe devices to seek help.
- Download safety apps recommended by domestic abuse charities.
đź‘Ą 3. Reach Out to Specialists
- Connect with domestic abuse support services.
- If in Spain, contact services like 016 (free and anonymous help line) or your local women’s organization.
- Therapists trained in trauma and abuse recovery can help restore your cognitive clarity and sense of self-worth.
⚖️ 4. Take Legal Steps
- Apply for protection orders.
- Document every incident: photos, messages, voice notes.
- Get legal help from those who specialize in domestic violence cases.
đź’¬ Final Thoughts
“Your intuition isn’t paranoid. It’s wisdom in disguise.”
High-risk domestic abuse situations are predictable and preventable when red flags are taken seriously. You or your loved one deserve freedom, safety, and a life without fear.
If any of these warning signs resonate with you:
- You are not alone.
- You are not crazy.
- You are not overreacting.
You are worthy of peace.
And there is a way out.
— Linda C J Turner
Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment
