There comes a point in every survivor’s journey where the fog lifts, the storm calms, and you see things—and people—for what they really are. That’s when the true healing begins. For many of us who’ve endured toxic, emotionally charged relationships, one thing becomes crystal clear: some people are simply addicted to conflict. It’s what makes them tick. It fuels their ego, gives them a sense of control, and keeps the spotlight off their own insecurities.

But here’s the truth I’ve come to live by: just because someone needs to fight doesn’t mean I have to be the opponent.

He will no doubt continue to fight. He’ll argue, provoke, and stir the pot—because that’s how he feels powerful. It’s his cycle. It’s his comfort zone. But not mine. Not anymore.

At one time, I may have played my part—whether to defend myself, to plead for understanding, or simply because I was trapped in a never-ending loop of reaction. I mistook it for love, for passion, for “working through things.” But now I see it clearly: it was chaos. It was manipulation. And it was exhausting.

I didn’t lose him. I freed myself.

So let him continue. Let him find another sparring partner. Let the new girlfriend become the target of his misplaced rage, his need for control, his endless thirst for conflict. I wish her strength, and I hope she sees the signs faster than I did. But as for me?

I’m done.

Done with walking on eggshells. Done with being blamed for everything. Done with confusion, gaslighting, circular arguments, and endless emotional tug-of-wars. I’m not available for drama, for shouting matches, or for being anyone’s emotional punching bag.

Peace isn’t just a dream—it’s my standard now. And peace doesn’t argue.

I’ve stepped out of the ring. I’ve reclaimed my life, my dignity, and my voice. No more wasted energy on people who mistake drama for connection. Let him fight—but he’ll be doing it without me.

Because I’m busy building a life where love feels safe, where laughter replaces tears, and where my soul is no longer at war.

— Linda C J Turner

Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment