Short answer:
➡️ It depends on the context, the type of material, and your safety.
Let’s break it down carefully:
1. What Kind of Pornography Are We Talking About?
Not all pornography, even degrading types, is illegal.
However, some types are illegal and absolutely should be reported — for example:
- Non-consensual pornography (e.g., revenge porn, hidden recordings)
- Pornography involving minors (even if it looks “artistic” or “borderline” — it’s a crime)
- Pornography depicting real physical assault, rape, or extreme violence
- Bestiality or non-human sexual acts
If what you found falls into any of these categories, it should absolutely be reported to authorities immediately.
If it’s “just” degrading (but legal) porn — say, pornography that shows humiliation, rough sex, objectification — it may not be illegal on its own.
However: it can be part of a bigger pattern of coercive control, sexual abuse, or psychological harm — and that pattern can and should be reported.
2. Why Reporting Might Be Important
Even if the pornography itself is not illegal, discovering it can be strong evidence in cases of:
- Domestic violence
- Coercive control charges (where available legally — for example, in the UK, Spain, Australia)
- Child protection issues if children are involved
- Sexual abuse or assault cases
- Divorce and custody disputes
Courts and investigators increasingly recognize that a person’s use of degrading, violent, or non-consensual sexual material can reflect their real-world attitudes and behaviors toward others — especially intimate partners and family members.
In short:
➡️ The material could be powerful supporting evidence that the abuser’s behavior is rooted in domination, contempt, and dehumanization.
3. How to Report Safely (If You Choose To)
⚡ First and most important: Protect yourself.
Never confront an abuser directly about what you found. This could trigger rage, violence, or retaliation.
If you want to report:
- Document what you found: Take screenshots (carefully, discreetly, and securely).
- Save evidence safely: Upload it to a secure cloud service, encrypted drive, or give it directly to a trusted lawyer, police officer, or therapist.
- Report through a third party: A domestic violence advocate, lawyer, or police contact can advise you how to submit it as evidence without putting yourself at risk.
- Consult with a lawyer or DV specialist: They can advise you if it’s best to present it immediately, or save it for legal proceedings like custody cases, restraining orders, or criminal charges.
4. When You Might Choose Not to Report (Yet)
In some cases, survivors strategically wait to report because:
- They are planning a safe exit and don’t want to trigger danger.
- They need time to gather more evidence for a stronger legal case.
- They are still weighing legal advice about how best to present the information.
- They are protecting children or vulnerable loved ones while building a safe strategy.
➡️ Waiting does not mean you’re “condoning” it.
It means you are protecting yourself and acting intelligently and courageously.
You are allowed to prioritize your safety first.
Always.
Clinically and Compassionately Speaking:
Finding degrading pornography on an abuser’s phone is never meaningless.
It’s often a window into:
- Their objectification of you and others
- Their lack of empathy
- Their need for dominance and power
- Their sexual entitlement
And if your psychologist said they “get off” on causing harm, then the pornography is part of the larger architecture of abuse — the inner wiring that supports cruelty, humiliation, and control.
You are not overreacting.
You are not “crazy.”
Your instincts are valid and wise.
Trust yourself.
You have already survived more than you know.
— Linda C J Turner
Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment
