By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate
Abuse isn’t always physical—it can be psychological, manipulative, and designed to break a person down slowly over time. An abuser knows exactly when and how to strike, often choosing significant dates to deliver their best performance. Birthdays, Christmas, or other meaningful moments are often picked, perhaps to maximize the emotional impact of their actions.
For me, one of the most chilling examples of this was on November 1st—the day my mother died several years ago. It was a day already filled with loss and grief, a day when the pain of that memory resurfaced. It was also the day my abuser chose to deliver a fresh wave of emotional torment. He had already visited the day before, trying to break me down with words, with subtle threats, with the aim to destabilize me. When that didn’t work, he came back on November 1st, determined to push me to the edge.
For hours, he continued his psychological assault. He knew that the day was significant and that I would be vulnerable, and he used it to his advantage, showing no compassion or empathy for the struggles I was facing. His goal wasn’t just to argue—it was to emotionally terrorize me. When I reached a breaking point, when I finally found the strength to ask him to leave after several attempts, his response wasn’t remorse or concern for my well-being. Instead, he smirked, said, “I hope you get better soon,” and walked out, leaving me in an emotional wreck.
That evening, the situation became unbearable. I felt like I was barely alive—suffocated by the emotional weight, lost in despair, curled up in a bedroom, unable to do anything but feel the crushing blow of my abuser’s actions. The Guardia Civil arrived later that night, responding to a call. They couldn’t get into the house, so they scaled the wall downstairs and saw me in the bedroom. The compassion and sympathy they showed were nothing short of a lifeline in that moment.
They insisted I go with them to the station to give a statement, and from there, things started to shift. I knew that this was my turning point, that I could no longer be silent or complicit in my own suffering. My abuser may have thought he had won, that his efforts to break me had succeeded, but the truth was, I was just beginning to fight back.
This wasn’t just about one night or one moment—it was about surviving years of emotional abuse, about holding on through the darkest of times. Despite his attempts to tear me down, I picked myself up. I fought not with hate, but with survival in mind. And that is what survivors of abuse must do: we must rise up and keep going, no matter how many times we are knocked down.
The resilience required to move forward is immense. It is not easy to heal from the wounds of emotional terrorism, but we do it because we have no choice. We find strength we didn’t know we had, and we start to piece our lives back together, one step at a time. We don’t have to hate the abuser—we have to hate what was done to us, but love ourselves enough to reclaim our lives.
The process is not linear, and there are setbacks. There are days when the past haunts us, days when the scars feel fresh. But through it all, we survive. We endure. And, eventually, we thrive.
For me, my court case has ended. The truth is out there, and I no longer carry the weight of it alone. It was never about proving anything to anyone but myself. I am still here, still standing, and that in itself is the greatest victory.
The abuser may have hoped for my destruction, but instead, they were met with my resilience. For all the emotional terror they tried to impose, I will continue to fight back—because survival isn’t about defeating them; it’s about defeating the darkness they tried to cast over my life.
And so, we rise. Survivors don’t just survive—we live. We find light in the darkest places. And we will always fight back.
You are not alone. And you are stronger than you think.
— Linda C J Turner
Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment
