By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate

Psychology | Trauma | The Mask of False Identity

At first, lying might feel like protection.
A way to avoid consequences.
A way to hide shame.
A way to control the narrative and preserve the image.

But the truth is:
Every lie builds a wall.
Every deception adds a bar to the cage.
And before long…
The person doing the lying isn’t protecting themselves—they’re imprisoning themselves.

🧠 What Happens in the Brain?

Pathological lying isn’t just behavioral. It rewires the brain.

• The amygdala, which triggers guilt and fear, starts to go numb.
  ➤ The liar feels less guilt each time they lie.
• The prefrontal cortex, which helps regulate truth, impulse, and planning, becomes overloaded.
  ➤ Keeping up with all the versions of the story causes mental fatigue and anxiety.
• The reward system (dopamine) gets a hit when a lie “works” — and that reinforces the behavior.
  ➤ It becomes addictive. A compulsion.

But here’s the catch:
Eventually, the brain can’t tell what’s real and what’s performance.
The liar begins to lose touch with reality, and even with their own identity.

---

🧠 Psychologically: It’s a Fragmented Self

Behind the mask, there’s a person drowning.

Pathological lying often hides:

• Deep shame
• A fear of abandonment
• Narcissistic wounds from childhood
• A desperate need to control how others see them

So they create a false self.
One that looks good. Sounds good. Performs well.
But it’s hollow. Lonely. Fragile.

And every time they lie, they bury the real self deeper.
That child inside—the one who just wanted love, safety, or worth—gets silenced again and again.

---

🌀 The Illusion of Control

Many chronic liars lie not just to others—but to themselves.

They tell themselves:

• “It’s not a big deal.”
• “I’m doing this to protect them.”
• “Everyone lies.”
• “They wouldn’t love me if they knew the truth.”

But here’s the truth:

👉 Lying doesn’t protect connection.
👉 It destroys it.
👉 It doesn’t make you powerful.
👉 It makes you paranoid and exhausted.
👉 It doesn’t bring peace.
👉 It brings internal chaos.

You can’t feel seen when you’re hiding.
You can’t feel loved when you’re performing.
You can’t find healing while still living in distortion.

---

💔 For the Survivors:

If you’ve been harmed by someone like this, please know:

• Their lies are not a reflection of your worth.
• You are not crazy for feeling confused, hurt, or betrayed.
• Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse — and it’s deeply damaging.

Their false reality doesn’t erase your truth.
It never will.

---

🗝️ The Only Way Out? Truth.

The liar builds the prison.
But truth holds the key.

It’s raw. It’s uncomfortable.
But it’s the only way back to wholeness.

And for those who have lived behind the mask — or survived someone who did —
Freedom begins where truth is welcomed.

— Linda C J Turner

Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment