🌿 The Rare and Beautiful Ones: Safe Relationships and the Nervous System 🌿

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate

There are some people who feel like home.

Not because they are perfect, or because life with them is always easy, but because your nervous system feels safe in their presence. You feel calm, grounded, and fully yourself. You can breathe a little deeper. You don’t have to perform, pretend, or protect yourself.

These people are rare — and they are incredibly important.

From a neuroscience perspective, when you’re around someone who is emotionally safe and non-threatening, your parasympathetic nervous system (the “rest and digest” system) is activated. Your heart rate slows, your muscles relax, and your prefrontal cortex — the part of your brain responsible for clear thinking, reasoning, and emotional regulation — stays online.

This means you can think clearly, express yourself freely, and connect authentically. You’re not in a state of hypervigilance. You’re not walking on eggshells. You’re simply being.

In contrast, being around someone who constantly triggers stress, pressure, or fear can activate your sympathetic nervous system (your “fight, flight, freeze” response). Over time, this kind of chronic nervous system dysregulation can lead to burnout, anxiety, depression, and even physical illness. Relationships really do affect our health — deeply.

When someone allows you space to be you… ✨ To make your own choices
✨ To speak your truth without punishment
✨ To rest when you need to, not hustle for worth
✨ To show your joy without jealousy
✨ To mess up without fear
…they are nurturing your entire nervous system, not just your emotions.

In healthy relationships, there is no pressure to please, no manipulation, and no control. There’s mutual respect. You’re not diminished — you are expanded. These relationships bring out the best in you. You grow, not shrink.

And here’s the magic:
People like this don’t fix you — they simply create the conditions where you can heal yourself. That’s the power of safety. That’s the science of love.

So if you’ve found someone who:

🌸 Makes your nervous system feel safe
🌸 Brings peace instead of chaos
🌸 Encourages your autonomy
🌸 Makes you feel proud to stand beside them
…hold them close. These humans are rare. And they are a gift.

And if you haven’t found them yet — become one. Because in a world full of noise and nervous systems on high alert, being someone who calms others is a quiet kind of superpower.

— Linda C J Turner

Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment