The Toll of Tolerating Abuse
By Linda C J Turner |
Abuse in any form—whether emotional, physical, psychological, sexual, or financial—is never acceptable. Yet for many, abuse becomes a part of daily life, tolerated out of fear, confusion, hope for change, or even love. As a trauma therapist, I see first-hand how this prolonged exposure to abuse quietly erodes a person’s core sense of self. The psychological toll is profound and far-reaching.
From a neurological standpoint, abuse literally changes the brain. Chronic stress and trauma, particularly in relationships where safety and love should exist, flood the body with cortisol and adrenaline. Over time, this can lead to anxiety, depression, PTSD, and a deep-rooted sense of helplessness. Survivors often find themselves walking on eggshells, unable to trust their own judgment, questioning their reality, or blaming themselves for the harm inflicted on them.
Emotionally, tolerating abuse chips away at self-worth. Many survivors report feeling “broken,” “not enough,” or as though their needs and feelings don’t matter. Abusers often employ subtle (and sometimes not-so-subtle) tactics of gaslighting and control, designed to isolate, confuse, and diminish the target’s sense of autonomy. This psychological manipulation is just as damaging—if not more so—than physical harm because it invades the mind and reshapes identity.
But here’s the truth:
No one deserves to feel unsafe in their own home, relationship, or skin.
No one should be silenced, dismissed, or made to feel invisible.
Recovery begins with recognizing the abuse—not just the obvious acts, but the quieter, insidious patterns that have become normalized. It involves reconnecting with the parts of yourself that were silenced. It’s about reclaiming your voice, your truth, and your freedom.
If you’re reading this and you’re in a situation that doesn’t feel right—trust that feeling. You don’t need bruises to justify your pain. You don’t need anyone else’s permission to name your experience. What you need is safety, support, and compassion—starting with your own.
To the survivors:
You are not weak for staying. You are not broken for feeling lost.
You are strong for surviving. And you deserve a life where love doesn’t hurt.
To the friends, therapists, and advocates:
Keep listening. Keep believing. Keep supporting.
Sometimes, the simple act of holding space for someone’s story can be the first step toward their healing.
Let’s break the silence and stop normalizing abuse.
#EndAbuse #TraumaHealing #EmotionalIntelligence #TherapyMatters #PsychologicalSafety #LindaCJTurnerTherapy
— Linda C J Turner
Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment
