The Right to Protect Myself: When Seeking Safety Becomes a Battle

Over the past six months, I have witnessed friends and acquaintances fighting for their lives—real battles, struggles against illness, hardships, and loss. In stark contrast, the only battle my husband has been focused on is fighting me for money. His relentless pursuit to punish me stems from one act: looking into a locked briefcase after many years, an action I took purely to protect myself from further financial abuse.

I did not act out of malice, greed, or revenge. I followed the guidance of both the police and my psychologist—professionals who understood the cycle of abuse I had endured. They advised me to take steps to safeguard myself against the ongoing manipulation and control I had suffered for years. Yet, instead of acknowledging my right to protect myself, my husband and his family have turned my act of self-preservation into a full-scale war against me.

Why is it that when victims of abuse stand up for themselves, they are often met with even greater hostility? Why is my fundamental right to protect myself from physical and emotional harm being twisted into an accusation of wrongdoing?

I have done nothing illegal, nothing morally wrong. My only crime, in their eyes, is refusing to be a silent victim any longer. And for that, I am being punished—not just by one man but by an entire family complicit in maintaining his control.

This is not just my personal struggle; this is a reflection of a broader issue that countless survivors of domestic abuse face. The moment they assert their right to safety, they are vilified, gaslit, and attacked. Systems are manipulated against them, narratives are twisted, and suddenly, the abuser becomes the victim while the true victim is painted as the aggressor.

But I refuse to be silenced.

Every person has the fundamental human right to protect themselves against physical and emotional violence. Every survivor has the right to take steps to ensure their safety without fear of retaliation. No one should have to choose between protecting themselves and facing unjust punishment from those who once held power over them.

The real crime here is not my act of self-protection. The real crime is a society that still allows abusers to use the legal system as a weapon against their victims.

This must change.