This type of fear is terror-based compliance, a psychological state where the victim feels that any resistance or attempt to leave could result in their death. Strangulation, in particular, is one of the most dangerous forms of domestic violence—it’s not just an act of control but a warning that the abuser has the power to take the victim’s life at any moment.
Threats like “Next time, I won’t stop” or “I’ll make sure no one finds you” instill intense, primal fear—a level of fear that overrides logic and self-preservation instincts, keeping the victim trapped in a state of learned helplessness. The abuser conditions the victim to believe that leaving equals death, so they comply to stay alive.
Psychological Effects of These Threats
- Hypervigilance & Anxiety – The victim constantly assesses every word, movement, and action to avoid triggering another violent attack.
- Shame & Isolation – They may feel too ashamed to reach out for help or believe no one would believe them.
- PTSD & Trauma Bonding – The abuser switches between violence and “remorse,” reinforcing the trauma bond and making it even harder to leave.
- Loss of Self-Agency – The victim no longer believes they have control over their life or choices.
Can They Ever Leave in Safety?
Yes—but leaving is the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship, especially when the abuser has made violent threats. If they have explicitly threatened to kill, bury, or make the victim “disappear,” it’s crucial to take extreme safety precautions, including:
✔ Seeking help from domestic violence experts who understand high-risk situations.
✔ Creating an escape plan with professionals (police, shelters, support groups).
✔ Not leaving impulsively—planning a safe exit strategy with support in place.
✔ Documenting threats & abuse for legal protection.
With the right support system, a detailed safety plan, and legal intervention, survivors can escape and rebuild a life free from fear. But it must be done carefully and strategically—because the abuser’s threats are very real.
