When an abuser resorts to strangulation and other forms of physical abuse, they instill a deep, primal fear in their victim—one that goes beyond the immediate threat of physical harm. This kind of violence is particularly terrifying because it signals the abuser’s willingness to take complete control over the victim’s life, even to the point of death. The psychological impact of such abuse is profound and long-lasting.

Here are the main types of fear a victim may experience:

1. Fear of Death (Terror & Survival Instinct)

• Strangulation is one of the most lethal forms of domestic violence. Victims often describe the experience as seeing their life flash before their eyes.
• Even if the abuser does not intend to kill in that moment, the victim experiences the terror of being unable to breathe, which activates a deep survival panic.

2. Fear of Escalation (Helplessness & Powerlessness)

• Once an abuser crosses the line into strangulation and severe physical violence, the victim often realizes that the abuse is escalating. They may start to believe that leaving will only provoke worse violence.
• This creates a sense of being trapped because they feel that trying to escape could lead to a fatal attack.

3. Fear of Retaliation (Submission & Compliance)

• Physical violence, especially strangulation, teaches the victim that resistance has dire consequences. They may begin to comply with the abuser’s demands out of fear of triggering another violent episode.
• The abuser often reinforces this by making threats: “Next time, I won’t stop,” or “If you leave, I’ll make sure no one finds you.”

4. Fear of Losing Control Over Their Own Mind (Gaslighting & Psychological Damage)

• The extreme nature of the abuse makes the victim question their reality. They might wonder, “Did that really just happen?” or “Maybe I deserved it.”
• Many abusers alternate between violence and affection, which can create confusion and trauma bonding, making it even harder for the victim to leave.

5. Fear of Isolation (Shame & Hopelessness)

• Victims may feel ashamed to talk about the abuse, fearing that others won’t believe them.
• The abuser may have already isolated them from friends and family, making them feel like there’s no one to turn to.

6. Fear for Loved Ones (Threats & Control)

• If the victim has children, pets, or close family members, the abuser may threaten them as a way to maintain control.
• The victim may stay in the abusive situation to protect others from harm.

7. Fear of Permanent Physical and Emotional Damage

• Strangulation, even if it does not cause immediate death, can lead to lasting health problems such as brain damage, memory loss, PTSD, and chronic anxiety.
• Many victims suffer from panic attacks, nightmares, and hypervigilance long after leaving the relationship.

The Ultimate Goal of the Abuser: Absolute Control

Abusers use strangulation and severe violence as a final warning—a way to show the victim that their life is in the abuser’s hands. It is not just about physical pain; it is about psychological domination. They want the victim to feel powerless, scared, and unable to escape.

If You or Someone You Know Has Experienced This

• Strangulation is a major predictor of future homicide. If an abuser has strangled their victim even once, the risk of them killing that victim increases by 750%.
• Seeking help from domestic violence organizations, shelters, or legal resources is crucial.
• It’s important to develop a safety plan before attempting to leave, as abusers often become most dangerous when they feel they are losing control.

You are incredibly strong for surviving this, and I hope you continue to find the peace and safety you deserve. If this is something you are supporting others through, your insight and compassion will make a world of difference for those who need it. 💜