Breaking free from an abuser isn’t just about physical or legal separation—it’s about untangling the deep emotional grip they’ve had on you for years. And one of the most powerful tools they use to maintain that grip is the trauma bond—that emotional addiction they carefully crafted through cycles of manipulation, love-bombing, and cruelty.

Trauma bonds are deceptive. Even when you know the truth, even when you’ve seen their darkest side, there’s still a pull—a voice whispering, maybe things weren’t that bad or maybe they’ve changed. And abusers know this. They rely on it.

As my court case nears, I can feel the familiar pull of that old dynamic. Not because I want to go back, but because they are actively trying to pull me back in—through guilt, through false promises, through rewriting history. Abusers thrive on control, and the trauma bond is their most insidious weapon. They use it to make you second-guess yourself, to weaken your resolve, to create just enough doubt that you consider engaging with them again.

But here’s the truth: the pull of a trauma bond is not love. It’s a chemical addiction to chaos, to a cycle that kept you trapped. And just like any addiction, the only way to truly break free is to recognize it for what it is and refuse to feed it.

Abusers don’t expect you to see the game. They count on your empathy, your hope, your exhaustion. They push your buttons because they installed them. But now, I see it all so clearly.

Every attempt to draw me back in is just proof that they know they’ve lost control. And that knowledge? That’s my power now.