You cannot truly move on in a relationship after strangulation—because the dynamic has already shifted into one of power, control, and terror.
Strangulation is not a loss of temper or a moment of passion gone wrong. It is a premeditated display of control over life and death. The fact that they didn’t kill you this time does not mean they won’t next time. Many domestic violence homicides are preceded by strangulation, and those who survive often experience escalating abuse.
What Happens to Intimacy and Closeness After Strangulation?
A healthy relationship requires trust, safety, and mutual respect. After an act as violent as strangulation:
🔹 Fear Replaces Love – It becomes impossible to feel emotionally safe. You may start modifying your behavior to prevent another outburst, which means the abuser is now controlling you—whether they are actively violent or not.
🔹 Trauma Reshapes the Relationship – The brain recognizes strangulation as a near-death experience, and survivors often develop PTSD, anxiety, and dissociation. These trauma responses make real intimacy nearly impossible.
🔹 Forced Compliance Feels Like ‘Love’ – The brain can confuse fear and relief with closeness. After the attack, if the abuser apologizes, shows affection, or is kind for a while, it can create a trauma bond, making the victim feel deeply attached—even though the relationship is toxic.
🔹 Sexual and Emotional Intimacy Becomes Tainted by Fear – Strangulation is often linked to sexual violence or coercion. Survivors may find it difficult to relax, be vulnerable, or engage in closeness without flashbacks, panic, or discomfort.
Will They Repeat This Behavior With a New Partner?
If an abuser is not held accountable and does not actively seek intensive intervention (not just anger management, but deep psychological work), then yes—they are very likely to do this to someone else.
🚩 Strangulation is a pattern, not an accident. It shows a willingness to go to the brink of murder to exert control.
🚩 Many abusers follow a cycle: They may appear charming, kind, and “reformed” with a new partner—but the abuse often starts again once they feel secure in the relationship.
🚩 They may even use their ex’s silence or willingness to “move on” as proof that they weren’t really abusive.This allows them to manipulate the next person even more effectively.
The Only Way to “Move On” is to Leave
The reality is, staying means accepting that your life is at risk. Moving on in a relationship after strangulation is not about healing together—it’s about surviving.
The only way to truly heal is to get out, get support, and break free from the cycle of abuse. No amount of apologies, excuses, or temporary “good behavior” can erase the fact that they have shown you what they are capable of.
Your life is valuable
