For decades, I lived in an environment that drained my spirit, stifled my joy, and kept me in a constant state of anxiety. A life where I was spoken down to, belittled, and made to feel like my existence was a burden rather than something to be cherished. But that life is over. I am free now, and I will never allow myself to be trapped in toxicity again.

If I have to work for the rest of my life to support myself, so be it. That is a small price to pay for the peace and freedom I now have. It is far better than enduring a slow, painful death from constant emotional, verbal, and physical abuse. My body aches from years of stress, my mind is still adjusting to tranquility, and my brain is learning how to exist without being in constant hypervigilance, bracing for the next episode of cruelty. But despite the toll it has taken, I am here, standing tall, reclaiming my life.

Freedom from Control

No longer am I forced to justify every purchase, explain every expense, or feel ashamed for wanting something nice. I can go to a restaurant and order exactly what I want without disapproving looks or judgment about the price. I can buy what I need, what I love, and what brings me joy—without guilt, without permission, without scrutiny.

I can drive without being criticized at every turn. I can get up in the night without being moaned at, without feeling like I am disrupting someone else’s carefully controlled world. I can leave my home without fear of having my car keys taken away, without worrying that my passport will be confiscated if I step out of line. I am no longer a prisoner in my own life.

Freedom to Live Without Fear

For too many years, every disagreement carried the unspoken threat: would this turn into something physical? Would this escalate beyond words? Would I have to endure the consequences of simply speaking my mind? That fear no longer dictates my life. Arguments are no longer battles for survival. I can disagree, express my thoughts, and stand up for myself without bracing for violence.

Small accidents are no longer disasters. Life happens. Mistakes happen. And now, there is no punishment, no overreaction, no berating. Just understanding and the ability to move on. I am no longer walking on eggshells, anticipating an explosion over the tiniest imperfection.

Freedom to Be Myself

I no longer have to beg for breadcrumbs of affection or validation. I am no longer a carer instead of a wife, an afterthought instead of a partner. I no longer exist in a space where joy is absent—where laughter, fun, and spontaneity are seen as inconveniences rather than essential parts of life. I can stay out as late as I want, see my family without judgment, and surround myself with people who love and appreciate me.

I don’t have to justify my choices. I don’t have to explain why I want to visit family or why I need connection. I can simply live my life, unapologetically, without having to defend my right to happiness.

Freedom from False Accusations

For years, I was told I had a drinking problem because I enjoyed a few glasses of wine in an attempt to cope with emotional abuse. Now, I don’t drink—not because I was forced to stop, but because I no longer need to. I am in control of my own decisions. If I want a glass of wine, I can have one. If I don’t, I won’t. The difference? It’s my choice.

Freedom to Enjoy Life

If I want to stay in an expensive hotel, I will—without a lecture, without being made to feel indulgent or irresponsible. If I want to travel, I will—without fear of control or consequences. If I want to go out with friends, I can—without being held back by someone else’s insecurities and need for dominance.

The list of freedoms goes on and on. But what matters most is this:

For three long decades, I lived in a world where I had to tiptoe around someone else’s moods, where every decision—big or small—had to be justified, and where joy was always just out of reach. It wasn’t a life. It was survival. And now that I am finally free, I see it for what it truly was: a slow death at the hands of constant emotional, verbal, and physical abuse.

But I made it out. I am standing on the other side. My body aches from years of tension, my mind is still adjusting to peace, but I am here.

No More Living in Fear

For years, I lived in a house that was not a home. Every day was another battle—never knowing what mood would greet me, never sure if a small accident would turn into a disaster, never able to breathe freely. I was spoken to like a lesser being, made to feel more like a carer than a wife. I had to beg for breadcrumbs, both emotionally and financially. But not anymore.

Financial and Personal Freedom

Now, I can buy what I want without having to justify it.
I can order what I want at a restaurant without disapproving glares.
I can stay in an expensive hotel without receiving a lecture.
I can see my family without judgment or guilt.
I can stay out as long as I like without interrogation.
I can drive without someone telling me how to.
I can wake up in the middle of the night without being moaned at.

No More Walking on Eggshells

For years, every disagreement came with a looming question: Will this turn violent?
Every act of defiance was met with punishment—whether it was harsh words, cruel silence, or physical threats. If I upset him, I risked losing my freedom—keys taken away, passport hidden, independence stripped.

But now? I go where I want, when I want, with no one to stop me.

The Simple Joy of Being Me

• I don’t have to pretend to enjoy a dull, joyless existence.
• I don’t have to shrink myself to keep the peace.
• I don’t have to apologize for simply existing the way I want to.

And the irony? I was accused of being an alcoholic because I had a few glasses of wine to cope with an unbearable reality. Now that I’m free, I don’t even feel the need to drink. It was never about the wine—it was about the prison I was trapped in.

No More Control. No More Fear. Only Freedom.

I will never, ever allow myself to be trapped like that again. If I have to work for the rest of my life to support myself, so be it—because I would rather work a thousand jobs than spend one more day in a toxic, suffocating existence.

I am done with seeking approval from someone who only wanted to control me.
I am done with defending my choices.
I am done with begging for basic decency.

I am finally free to be me. And I will never let that be taken from me again.