When someone claims to love you but engages in behavior that causes intentional harm—like leaving you with financial burdens or taking a cherished pet—it reveals actions completely incongruent with love. True love involves care, respect, and a desire to see the other person flourish, not control or sabotage them.

Understanding Their Behavior

• Manipulation vs. Love: Abusers often use the claim of “love” as a tool of manipulation. It keeps you emotionally tethered, making you question yourself and your worth. In truth, love and abuse cannot coexist. Genuine love supports and uplifts, while abuse erodes and destroys.
• Control Tactics: Taking away something precious, like a pet, or leaving you in financial distress are strategies to maintain control and inflict pain. These acts are often designed to keep you vulnerable, making it harder to rebuild your life.
• Projection and Justification: Abusers may convince themselves or even try to convince you that their harmful actions are justified. This doesn’t excuse their behavior but rather highlights their distorted way of perceiving relationships.

Coping and Recovery

• Financial and Legal Support: Seek professional advice to protect yourself. If the debts they left behind are joint, consult a lawyer or financial advisor. In many places, there are legal avenues to challenge unfair financial burdens placed on you.
• Reclaim Your Pet: If they took your pet, this might be a legal matter, as pets are often considered property. Reach out to local animal advocacy groups or legal professionals to explore your rights.
• Emotional Healing: This betrayal can deeply wound your sense of trust and safety. A trauma-informed therapist can help you process these experiences and rebuild your confidence.
• Recognizing Your Strength: Surviving an abusive relationship and facing such betrayal is a testament to your resilience. Remind yourself that their actions are a reflection of them, not of your worth or what you deserve.

Moving Forward

Reclaiming your power starts with setting firm boundaries and creating a support system around you. Remember, the best revenge is living well—rebuilding your life, finding joy again, and not letting their actions define your future. Love yourself fiercely during this time; you deserve kindness, care, and a life free from the shadows of abuse.

You are not alone, and you don’t have to face this alone. Lean on the people and resources available to support you. Healing is a journey, but it’s one you are strong enough to walk.