When they often are rooted in complex psychological issues. People who deliberately choose significant days like Christmas or birthdays to cause harm or disruption often exhibit traits or behaviors that might stem from unresolved emotional pain, an inability to regulate their emotions, or even deeper personality disorders. While it’s not constructive to label someone as a “monster,” such actions can feel cruel and heartless to those on the receiving end.

Here are a few possible psychological underpinnings for this behavior:

1. Control and Manipulation
   Some individuals seek control in relationships or situations and may target significant days because they know they hold emotional weight. By disrupting these moments, they can dominate the emotional tone and divert attention to themselves.
2. Resentment and Jealousy
   Significant occasions often symbolize joy, connection, and celebration. Someone carrying unresolved resentment or jealousy may feel triggered by these moments, leading them to act out in ways that tarnish the happiness of others.
3. Attention-Seeking
   For some, even negative attention is better than no attention at all. They may disrupt important days because it guarantees focus on their actions, even if it’s at the cost of others’ happiness.
4. Emotional Sabotage
   Those who are deeply unhappy or struggling with inner turmoil may unconsciously sabotage joyful moments for others. Misery loves company, and they might lash out because they can’t reconcile their pain with the happiness they witness.
5. Narcissistic or Antisocial Traits
   People with narcissistic tendencies or antisocial behaviors may lack empathy and genuinely not care about the emotional harm they inflict. For them, the significance of the day might make their actions feel more impactful, giving them a sense of power or superiority.
6. Trauma and Personal Associations
   Some people who behave this way may associate holidays or significant days with past negative experiences. Their actions could be a projection of their unresolved trauma or a misguided way of coping with painful memories.

How to Cope

• Set Boundaries: If someone repeatedly exhibits this behavior, it’s crucial to establish firm boundaries to protect yourself and your peace.
• Limit Contact on Key Days: If possible, minimize interactions with this person during significant occasions to reduce the chance of disruption.
• Seek Support: Share your experiences with trusted friends, family, or a therapist. Validation from others can provide strength and clarity.
• Don’t Engage: As hard as it might be, refraining from engaging with their provocations can deprive them of the reaction they seek.

While it’s tempting to label such individuals as “monsters,” viewing them through a lens of understanding their motives and dysfunctions can sometimes help depersonalize their actions. That doesn’t excuse the harm they cause, but it can empower you to protect your well-being and respond in ways that prioritize your emotional health.