It’s completely normal to look back at past relationships and wonder, “What was I thinking?” when you’ve grown, learned, and gained perspective. This feeling often stems from personal growth—you’re not the same person you were back then, and that’s a good thing.

When you’re in a relationship, especially one that may not have been the healthiest or most fulfilling, emotions and circumstances can cloud your judgment. Maybe you were drawn to qualities that seemed appealing at the time or were in a place in your life where that connection felt right, even if it wouldn’t align with who you are now.

Feeling embarrassed or cringing at the thought of an ex can also highlight how much you’ve matured emotionally and what you’ve come to value in a partner. It’s a signal that you’ve raised your standards, both for relationships and for yourself. Rather than dwelling on that embarrassment, consider it a testament to how far you’ve come.

On the flip side, that relationship, even if it wasn’t ideal, was a stepping stone in your journey. It likely taught you lessons about love, boundaries, your needs, and your deal breakers. Be kind to yourself about it. Everyone has their “What was I thinking?” moments—it’s part of being human.

The important thing is to take what you’ve learned, laugh a little at your past self if you need to, and move forward with clarity about what truly serves you. And if you’re able, maybe even send a bit of gratitude to that version of you who made the choices they thought were best at the time. They were doing their best to get you here. 😊