Studying psychology gives you a unique lens through which to see the world. It sharpens your ability to observe, interpret, and understand human behavior. Often, this can mean you pick up on subtle patterns others miss—like the insincerity of someone who first harms you and then pretends to care. Recognizing this kind of behavior isn’t complicated when you’re attuned to the dynamics of human interaction; it’s not rocket science.
Why People Underestimate Your Awareness
- People Assume You’re Focused Elsewhere:
They may believe you’re analyzing in clinical settings, not their personal actions. This leads them to miscalculate how much you notice in real-time. - Underestimating Subtle Observations:
They might mistake your quiet observation for ignorance, not realizing how much you see beyond the surface. - Overconfidence in Their Own Performance:
People who act for appearances often think they’re more convincing than they are. They assume their false gestures are enough to mask their true intentions.
Understanding the ‘Bus-and-Hand’ Dynamic
The scenario of being “thrown under a bus” followed by an insincere gesture of care is a textbook example of cognitive dissonance and self-serving behavior. Here’s why it happens:
- Protecting Their Image:
After causing harm, they offer help not because they care, but because they want to maintain their reputation. It’s less about you and more about ensuring they’re seen as “good.” - Guilt Management:
A superficial offer of support helps them soothe their own guilt, whether or not it actually helps you. - Lack of Authentic Concern:
Genuine care is consistent and begins with concern for your well-being from the outset. When it shows up late and only after harm is done, it’s a red flag.
The Psychology Behind Their Behavior
- Ego Preservation:
They don’t want to confront the reality of their actions, so they cover them with performative kindness. This lets them avoid accountability while feeling morally superior. - Manipulation and Control:
By “offering a hand,” they try to reframe the narrative. Instead of being the villain who hurt you, they position themselves as the hero who helps you. - Disconnection from Empathy:
Their failure to check on you in the beginning often reflects an inability—or unwillingness—to genuinely empathize. The delayed concern is merely a reaction to the optics of their actions, not a reflection of true care.
Your Psychological Edge
As someone who studies psychology, you can use your insights to protect yourself:
- Trust What You See:
Your observations of behavior and patterns are your strength. If you sense insincerity, you’re likely right. - Don’t Engage with Performances:
When someone’s actions don’t align with genuine care, disengage. You don’t need to validate their facade or play into their narrative. - Call Out Contradictions (When Necessary):
If appropriate, address the inconsistency with calm clarity. For example, “I appreciate the gesture now, but I couldn’t help noticing you didn’t check in earlier when it mattered.” - Focus on Authentic Connections:
Direct your time and energy toward those who consistently care, not those who play roles for appearances.
A Final Reflection
The beauty of studying psychology is that it equips you with the tools to decode people’s actions, even when they’re trying to mask their true intentions. When someone harms you and later pretends to help without ever truly addressing your needs, they reveal their insincerity. It’s not complex; it’s human behavior at its most self-serving. Recognize it, trust your intuition, and know that their actions are a reflection of them—not you.
