Family dynamics, finances, and agreements that you both feel comfortable with. Here are a few points to consider that might bring some clarity:

1. Role and Responsibilities: A second spouse might not automatically feel responsible for the partner’s children from a previous relationship, especially if those children are adults or have financial independence. If they aren’t reciprocating, or if the second spouse didn’t have a parental role in their lives, it could feel unfair to shoulder the financial burden for their vacations.
2. Financial Expectations and Fairness: It’s reasonable to expect that costs associated with these children, especially when it’s a big expenditure like a holiday, should be discussed openly. For example, if your partner expects you to contribute equally to a holiday for his children, but they do not reciprocate or contribute in any way, it can lead to feelings of imbalance. A conversation about what’s fair and how to balance finances for shared activities could help make sure you both feel respected.
3. Mutual Agreements on Finances: In healthy partnerships, financial arrangements usually consider the fairness and comfort of both parties. If you feel pressured to pay for activities or trips for your partner’s children, it might help to establish a mutual understanding of what you’re both comfortable with. For instance, if you’re open to occasional support but not obligated to every trip, or if you’d like the children to contribute where possible, that’s a fair point to bring up.
4. Love and Family Bonding: While it can sometimes feel generous or supportive to contribute, it’s also okay to want that giving to feel mutual. If it doesn’t, then it’s perfectly reasonable to set boundaries that respect both your own finances and the family’s values. Some families agree to share all holiday costs, while others split them based on who they involve. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.
5. Your Partner’s Role: Ultimately, it may be more appropriate for your partner to fund his children’s holiday expenses, especially if the relationship is newer or if there’s a significant difference in how the children and your own family interact. If you and your partner feel that covering costs is fair when considering all financial factors, maybe a compromise can be reached so that the arrangement respects everyone involved.

Being open with your partner about how this dynamic feels and what you’d prefer for future holidays can go a long way. Blended families work best when all members feel like their contributions and boundaries are valued, leading to a smoother, more enjoyable holiday experience for everyone involved.