Denial and minimizing abuse are unfortunately common coping mechanisms, not only for the person who might be harming others but also for people around them who want to avoid facing the painful reality. This downplaying can create a dangerous cycle where real harm is dismissed or excused, making it harder for those affected to seek help or feel validated in their experiences.

Often, people downplay abuse because acknowledging it would mean confronting deep-seated issues—sometimes rooted in their own history, fears, or insecurities. For someone who inflicts abuse, admitting the harm they cause can feel like a threat to their self-image, leading them to lie to others (and even themselves) to avoid responsibility. And for those witnessing or experiencing the effects, denial can feel like a way to protect themselves, even though it ultimately isolates them and worsens the harm.

When someone starts to see and accept the truth, it’s like lifting a fog that’s been clouding their reality. This acceptance, while difficult, opens the door for healing and genuine change—whether that means seeking therapy, talking to trusted people, or helping others in similar situations feel seen and heard.