Tag: #trauma

Trauma refers to an emotional or psychological response to an event or series of events that are distressing or disturbing, often exceeding an individual’s ability to cope. Traumatic experiences can be diverse and may include situations such as accidents, natural disasters, physical or sexual assault, combat, or the sudden loss of a loved one. Trauma can have a profound impact on an individual’s mental, emotional, and physical well-being, leading to a range of symptoms and challenges.

Emotional Deadness vs Covert Emotional Neglect

(Internal state → Relational experience) 1. Core state Emotional deadnessA chronically under-activated emotional system. Feelings are dulled, muted, or inaccessible. Covert emotional neglectYour emotional needs are consistently unmet — not through cruelty, but through absence. 2. What it looks like day to day Emotional deadness Flat facial expression Minimal curiosity or joy Rare laughter or play… Read More Emotional Deadness vs Covert Emotional Neglect

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

Miserable

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner

Waking up safe, regulated, dog beside you — that’s your nervous system finally exhaling. That detail matters more than it looks. 🐾What you’re noticing now isn’t revisionist history. It’s pattern recognition coming online once your brain is no longer in survival mode. 1. Chronic emotional flatness = nervous system shutdown From a neuroscience perspective, your ex sounds… Read More Miserable

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

How to Pace Connection Safely (When Kindness Feels Big)

When kindness feels intense, the instinct is often to lean in quickly — to attach, explain, disclose, or merge. That urge makes sense after deprivation. But pacing is what turns safety into something sustainable. Pacing does not mean pulling away.It means letting connection unfold at a speed your nervous system can actually integrate. Here’s how… Read More How to Pace Connection Safely (When Kindness Feels Big)

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

Why Kindness Feels Intense After Neglect

If kindness feels overwhelming after neglect, there is nothing wrong with you. Long-term emotional neglect or abuse changes the nervous system. You adapt by lowering expectations, minimising needs, and staying alert for withdrawal or punishment. Your body learns that connection is fragile and conditional. So when someone offers genuine care — listening, warmth, follow-through, softness… Read More Why Kindness Feels Intense After Neglect

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

“A Fresh Start” Does Not Stop an Abuser — It Just Resets the Stage

When an abuser suggests “making a fresh start” — moving house, changing country, starting again — it is often presented as hope, healing, or renewal. But a fresh location does not erase abusive behaviour. Abuse is not caused by the place.It is caused by the person. Why “Fresh Starts” Are So Appealing To outsiders — and often to survivors… Read More “A Fresh Start” Does Not Stop an Abuser — It Just Resets the Stage

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

What Safe Disengagement Actually Looks Like

Safe disengagement means leaving or detaching in a way that does not provoke escalation. It is quiet, strategic, and protective — not dramatic or confrontational. 🧭 First: Shift the Goal The goal is safety, not clarity.You do not need: Their insight Their apology Their agreement Their understanding Seeking those often increases danger. 🔇 1. Reduce Emotional Access (Before Physical… Read More What Safe Disengagement Actually Looks Like

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

Effective Therapeutic Approaches

1. Trauma-Focused Therapy Helps the brain process traumatic memories without reliving them fully. Reduces emotional charge, anxiety, and flashbacks. Especially effective for life-threatening trauma like strangulation. Helps survivors reframe thoughts and beliefs formed during abuse. Builds coping skills for fear, anxiety, and hypervigilance. Strangulation trauma often leaves physical nervous system imprints. Therapies like somatic experiencing, sensorimotor psychotherapy, or trauma-informed yoga help release… Read More Effective Therapeutic Approaches

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

Statistics & Prevalence

Here’s a clear, evidence-based overview of what research shows about non-fatal strangulation — including how common it is, how it affects survivors physically and psychologically, and what we know about how it impacts the person doing the strangulation (to the extent research addresses that). This is grounded in scientific literature and public health data. 📊 Statistics & Prevalence Non-fatal strangulation (NFS) is recognised… Read More Statistics & Prevalence

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

Talking About Strangulation in Therapy: Why It’s So Hard — and How EMDR Can Help

Talking about strangulation in therapy is not just “talking about a memory.”For many survivors, describing the sensations, fear, and loss of control can reactivate the trauma itself. This is not resistance.It is how the nervous system remembers danger. Why Describing It Feels Overwhelming Strangulation is a primal threat to survival. When it happened, the brain and body… Read More Talking About Strangulation in Therapy: Why It’s So Hard — and How EMDR Can Help

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

Strangulation is not about the situation.It is about the person who chooses to use it.

The Short Answer Future partners can absolutely be in danger It is not “just that relationship” Strangulation is a marker of a high-risk abuser, not a one-off loss of control Why Strangulation Is Different Strangulation isn’t an impulsive shove or shouted argument. It is: A deliberate act A control behavior A willingness to bring someone to the edge… Read More Strangulation is not about the situation.It is about the person who chooses to use it.

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment