Tag: MENTAL HEALTH

Mental health refers to a person’s emotional, psychological, and social well-being, encompassing the ability to handle stress, relate to others, make decisions, and navigate the challenges of life. It influences how individuals think, feel, and act, contributing to the overall balance and quality of their lives. Mental health is essential at every stage of life, from childhood and adolescence through adulthood.

Explore a fresh path

Embrace new possibilities and explore a fresh path. Trying someone completely different—whether it’s in relationships, friendships, or partnerships—can be both exciting and eye-opening. Often, we gravitate toward the familiar because it feels safe, but stepping outside our usual type or comfort zone can lead to incredible growth and experiences.

Choosing someone younger, fitter, taller, sportier, or more adventurous might challenge preconceived ideas and help you discover parts of yourself you didn’t know were there. Perhaps they could inspire you to embrace new hobbies, explore the world with more curiosity, or see life from a fresh perspective. These differences can bring a complementary dynamic, teaching both people how to balance their unique strengths.… Read More Explore a fresh path

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

Have a Sense of Humor About It All

Before jumping straight into dating, take some time to reflect and reconnect with who you are. Divorce can shake your identity, so this is your chance to rediscover what makes you you. Ask yourself:

What do you enjoy doing for fun?

What are your non-negotiables in relationships moving forward?

What are your goals in this new phase of life?

Self-confidence is magnetic, and knowing yourself better will make you feel ready to mingle.… Read More Have a Sense of Humor About It All

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Burdensome

When family members prioritize their own comfort over truly supporting someone who is struggling with a mental illness, it can leave that person feeling abandoned, misunderstood, or even burdensome—a feeling no one should ever have to endure. It’s a stark reminder of how important empathy, genuine care, and shared responsibility are within families.

If your family is trying to “palm you off” onto someone else, it may stem from their discomfort in addressing your mental health needs or their inability to understand what meaningful support looks like. Unfortunately, mental health struggles can make people around us feel helpless or unsure of how to act, and sometimes they may look for an easy way out instead of stepping up in the ways we hope they would.… Read More Burdensome

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The Overlooked Struggle of Survivors of Domestic Violence During Divorce

For survivors of domestic violence, the stakes of divorce go far beyond heartbreak or disappointment—they are often fighting for their safety, stability, and dignity. Many abusers weaponize the legal and emotional aspects of the process to continue exerting control. This can include: Threatening Housing and Financial Security: Many survivors are coerced into staying in dangerous relationships because leaving often means the risk of homelessness or poverty. After leaving, abusers frequently manipulate the legal system, threatening to strip survivors of their homes, savings, or any sense of security. This tactic is designed to push survivors to the brink, leaving them feeling powerless and hopeless.

Using Family and Allies for Intimidation: In many cases, abusers recruit family members, friends, or other allies to send intimidating correspondence, often filled with threats and ultimatums. Survivors may receive messages designed to guilt, shame, or bully them into compliance with the abuser’s demands, further isolating them and eroding their mental health.

Launching Smear Campaigns: One of the most devastating tactics abusers use during and after divorce is the smear campaign. By spreading lies and painting the survivor as unstable, dishonest, or manipulative, abusers seek to ruin their reputation, destroy their support networks, and strip them of credibility. These campaigns are particularly harmful as they can influence custody battles, social relationships, and professional opportunities.

Exploiting Legal Systems: Abusers often drag out legal proceedings or file baseless claims to exhaust the survivor emotionally and financially. The court system can become a new arena for abuse, where survivors must repeatedly defend themselves, relive their trauma, and fight for justice in an adversarial environment.
The Emotional Toll on Survivors

These tactics take a heavy toll on survivors’ mental health. Many are left at their wits’ end, overwhelmed by feelings of hopelessness, fear, and despair. The constant barrage of threats and manipulation can lead to severe anxiety, depression, and, in some cases, suicidal thoughts. The systemic lack of support for survivors further exacerbates their struggles.… Read More The Overlooked Struggle of Survivors of Domestic Violence During Divorce

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

The Sweet Words That Hide the Storm

The hallmark of emotional manipulation is how sweet words and heartfelt promises mask destructive intentions. For years—or even decades—they may build a narrative of undying love and devotion. They might say things like:

“You’re the love of my life.”

“I’ve always loved you more than anything.”

“I can’t imagine my life without you.”

Hearing these words, especially after such a long history together, naturally fosters trust, and emotional investment. But when these words are followed by actions designed to undermine you—leaving you homeless, car-less, dog-less, and even destitute—it becomes clear that their love was conditional and self-serving.
Two weeks later, the same person who called you their soulmate might suddenly seem unrecognizable. They might: Withdraw all support, forcing you into financial and emotional instability.

Use your shared history as leverage, attempting to justify their behavior or blame you for the fallout.

Engage in stalking or harassment, making it nearly impossible for you to move on or feel safe.

Involve their family, who may add to the harassment by threatening or undermining you further.… Read More The Sweet Words That Hide the Storm

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

Seeking a Carer Not a Wife

What Does This Mean for a Potential Partner?
If you find yourself with someone who appears to be seeking a mother or caregiver rather than a partner, it’s important to assess whether the dynamic feels balanced. A healthy relationship is built on mutual support, not one-sided nurturing. Here are a few things to consider:
Set Boundaries:
If you notice this dynamic, it’s essential to communicate your needs and boundaries clearly. Ensure you’re not falling into a role that leaves you feeling more like a caretaker than an equal.
Observe Their Growth:
Are they actively working on themselves? This could mean going to therapy, learning new skills, or making efforts to heal. A willingness to grow signals they’re ready for a partnership rather than just support.
Assess Your Role:
Reflect on whether you’re naturally stepping into a caregiving role. If so, ask yourself if this is what you want or if it might be a pattern worth examining.
Encourage Independence:
A healthy partnership allows both people to thrive independently while supporting each other. If they lean too much on you, gently encourage them to take steps toward managing their own life.… Read More Seeking a Carer Not a Wife

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment

Why Abusers Use Illness as a Manipulation Tactic

a terminal illness elicits an immediate sympathetic response from family members and others. This shifts focus away from their abusive behavior and onto their supposed suffering.

The narrative becomes, “How could anyone leave someone who’s dying?” which creates emotional pressure on the victim to stay. An abuser may say things like:

“How can you abandon me when I need you the most?”

“I can’t believe you would leave me to die alone.”

This leverages the victim’s compassion and societal expectations to keep them in the relationship.telling family members they’re terminally ill, the abuser garners support and paints the victim as heartless or selfish for leaving.

This isolates the victim further, as family members may confront or pressure them to return out of misplaced concern for the abuser.Detailed Fabrications:
Some abusers go to great lengths to make their claims believable, including fake medical documents, stories of doctors’ visits, or exaggerated symptoms.Public Displays of Suffering:
They might perform physical symptoms (e.g., fatigue, weakness) or talk extensively about their supposed condition to reinforce the lie.… Read More Why Abusers Use Illness as a Manipulation Tactic

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Why Abusers Pull Family Members Into the Dynamic

By involving family members, the abuser seeks to undermine the victim’s credibility. They may tell lies or exaggerate the victim’s behavior, painting them as irrational, ungrateful, or unstable.

This ensures that if the victim speaks up about the abuse, the family is less likely to believe them. Abusers crave validation for their actions. By getting family members on their side, they reinforce the idea that their behavior is justified or acceptable.

They may frame the abuse as “discipline” or “just how I show love,” making it harder for others to see it for what it really is. The abuser might create tension between the victim and their family. For example:

Spreading lies or rumors to turn family members against the victim.

Highlighting the victim’s flaws or mistakes to others.

This strategy ensures the victim feels isolated even within their own family.Abusers might directly involve family members in the abuse by asking them to intervene or take sides:

“You see how difficult they are to deal with, right?”

“Tell them they’re overreacting—it’s not that bad.”

This coerces family members into unwittingly validating the abusive behavior.… Read More Why Abusers Pull Family Members Into the Dynamic

Linda C J TurnerLeave a comment