Tag: ABUSE

Abuse is a term that refers to the mistreatment, harm, or infliction of injury on someone, either through physical, emotional, verbal, sexual, or other means. Abuse can occur in various contexts, including relationships, families, institutions, and broader social settings. It is a serious violation of an individual’s rights and can have profound and lasting effects on their physical, emotional, and psychological well-being.

The Quiet Mask: Soft-Spoken in Public, Intimidating in Private

One of the greatest misconceptions about abusive people is that they are always loud, aggressive and obviously intimidating. In reality, many are the exact opposite. To neighbours, colleagues and friends, they may appear calm, polite, softly spoken and remarkably composed. They rarely raise their voice in public and often come across as thoughtful, charming or… Read More The Quiet Mask: Soft-Spoken in Public, Intimidating in Private

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When Generosity Is a Performance: The Hidden Reality of Impression Management and Financial Control

To the outside world, some relationships appear almost perfect. There are thoughtful gifts, expensive bottles of wine, luxury holidays, anniversary celebrations, and public displays of generosity. Friends and family see a partner who appears loving, successful and devoted. But appearances can be carefully managed. Behind closed doors, the reality may be completely different. The Two… Read More When Generosity Is a Performance: The Hidden Reality of Impression Management and Financial Control

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What to Do If You Notice These Warning Signs

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner

If several of these warning signs are present, don’t ignore them or assume they will improve with time. Abuse often escalates rather than disappears. Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, take those feelings seriously. Don’t allow yourself to become isolated from family and friends. Maintain your own support network. Continue your hobbies, work, and… Read More What to Do If You Notice These Warning Signs

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How Much Evidence Is Enough Before We Call Abuse What It Is?

One of the most painful experiences for survivors is not just the abuse itself. It is watching people explain it away. A bruise becomes “an accident.” A threat becomes “an argument.” Years of coercive control become “marital problems.” A criminal conviction becomes “a misunderstanding.” A medical report is dismissed. A psychologist’s assessment is questioned. Photographs… Read More How Much Evidence Is Enough Before We Call Abuse What It Is?

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Looking Beyond First Impressions: Recognising Patterns of Abuse

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner © 2025 Linda Carol Turner. Content protected by copyright.
Reproduction or redistribution in any form requires prior written permission from the author.
When quoting or referencing, please cite: Linda Carol Turner, Psychology & Neuroscience Insights.

Abusive people rarely introduce themselves as abusive. Many are charming, successful, funny and well-liked. Friends, neighbours and colleagues may describe them as kind, generous or helpful. That is why it is so important to look beyond first impressions. Abuse is rarely revealed by one incident. It is recognised through consistent patterns of behaviour over time. Don’t… Read More Looking Beyond First Impressions: Recognising Patterns of Abuse

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“It Wasn’t Me, It Was My Ex…” — Common Narratives Used After an Abusive Relationship Ends

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner

When an abusive relationship ends, the abuse itself often doesn’t disappear. Sometimes, the behaviour changes form. Instead of controlling a partner behind closed doors, the person who was abusive may begin controlling the story. This can be particularly confusing for a new partner, who hears only one version of events. While every situation is different,… Read More “It Wasn’t Me, It Was My Ex…” — Common Narratives Used After an Abusive Relationship Ends

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When Someone Tells You They Are Being Abused: Your Response Matters More Than You Think

It takes enormous courage for someone to disclose domestic abuse. Many survivors have spent months—or even years—wondering whether anyone will believe them. By the time they tell you, they may have rehearsed the conversation hundreds of times in their head. They may be terrified of being judged, blamed or dismissed. How you respond in those… Read More When Someone Tells You They Are Being Abused: Your Response Matters More Than You Think

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“Keep It in the Family” Can Be Dangerous: Why Silence Protects Abuse, Not Victims

For generations, families have repeated the same phrases: “Don’t make a fuss.” “Keep it in the family.” “Think of the children.” “Don’t tell anyone.” “You’ll ruin the family.” “Just keep the peace.” On the surface, these words may sound like they are protecting the family. Too often, they are protecting the abuse. Silence Gives Abuse… Read More “Keep It in the Family” Can Be Dangerous: Why Silence Protects Abuse, Not Victims

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Stop Calling Abuse “Irreconcilable Differences”

One of the most frustrating phrases survivors hear during divorce is: “The marriage has broken down due to irreconcilable differences.” Sometimes that is true. People do grow apart. They fall out of love. They want different futures. Those are genuine irreconcilable differences. But abuse is not one of them. When a relationship ends because one… Read More Stop Calling Abuse “Irreconcilable Differences”

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