Gentlemen…

Can we have a quick word?

Stand up.

No… properly.

You’re looking for a partner, not trying to identify ants on the pavement.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame wasn’t meant to be a dating coach.

If your head is permanently hanging over your phone, your neck has disappeared and your shoulders are somewhere near your kneecaps, we have a problem.

And while we’re at it…

🤣 Brush your teeth. We shouldn’t need sunglasses when you smile.

🤣 Hair is lovely… but if the longest hair on your body is growing out of your ears, we need to have another conversation.

🤣 If you’re carefully nurturing three heroic strands across your bald patch… let them retire with dignity.

🤣 Eyebrows should not look like they’re trying to escape your face.

🤣 If your aftershave arrives three minutes before you do… you’ve used too much.

🤣 Looking permanently furious won’t make you look mysterious. It just makes people think you’ve found the electricity bill.

🤣 If every conversation starts with “My ex…” you’re not ready for your next.

🤣 And if you’ve been wearing the same fleece since 2007 because “it’s still got another few years in it”… perhaps let it enjoy retirement too.

The sexiest thing?

A man who stands tall.

Smiles.

Laughs.

Is kind.

Can laugh at himself.

Treats people well.

And doesn’t need to grunt every time he gets out of a chair…

…although at our age, we’ll allow one little grunt.

Maybe two.

We’re realistic. 😂😂

(Disclaimer: Ladies, we’re not getting off lightly either… but that’s a post for another day! 😄)