And here’s the truth that tends to cut through decades of confusion:
It’s not about understanding men — it’s about recognising who is capable of showing up properly, and who isn’t.
A few grounded realities that might resonate after everything you’ve lived:
Some men are emotionally available, accountable, and consistent. Some are avoidant, self-serving, or conditioned to take more than they give. Many don’t even understand themselves — so trying to “figure them out” becomes exhausting and endless.
The shift that often changes everything is this:
Stop asking “Why is he like that?”
Start asking “Does this behaviour meet my standards?”
Because:
You can understand someone deeply and still be treated poorly. You can have compassion for someone’s past and still not be valued. You can explain their behaviour perfectly… and it still doesn’t make it acceptable.
At 68, what you’ve gained isn’t confusion — it’s pattern recognition.
You’ve likely already seen:
Words that don’t match actions Effort that only appears when it benefits them Love that feels conditional or transactional
That’s not something to “understand.”
That’s something to decide about.
The women who feel most at peace aren’t the ones who finally “figure men out” —
they’re the ones who decide:
“I only engage with behaviour that feels safe, consistent, and reciprocal.”
And anything else?
They don’t analyse it… they step back from it.
Linda C J Turner | Trauma Therapist & Emotional Healing Specialist 
So true 👌 Im not self-promoting myself and boosting my ego, but I’m a person who has manners, morals and integrity. I treat people with the respect and the same way I would expect to be treated myself. I haven’t had a girl in my life for over a decade now, arguably the bipolar and my attraction prowess have a influence over how I am perceived. But honestly, I’m not even bothered one iota about it. This is because 99% of the females in the UK are seemingly more interested in your bank balance, job, the car you drive and how big your house is. It’s a result of the digital dating world I think where you are archaic in your pursuit of a partner based solely on their sex appeal. It’s a breeding ground for narcissists to thrive and impact on someone their poisonous nature, which could be catastrophically bad. It’s my personal opinion anyway.
As far as I am concerned personally, Im currently working towards finding a way to concisely and comprehensively explain bipolar disorder to others who don’t have it or any experience of it or being around it. I’m trying to write using metaphorical exploration, a viewpoint that is from inside the storm, mine, and I have tried to write an explanation from the outside of the storm looking in, which would be the readers. However I don’t know what that perspective is so I have had to be creative with my ideas and heavily used metaphors to describe the storm. I have written two books, using my blogs, to illustrate what I experienced and what it means to me. I have posted them on my blog but I don’t know how to promote them as I don’t have much interest on my page I don’t have any feedback. The feedback would help me improve my writing and my angle of writing skills to help the readers understand fully what I am trying to say 👌👍🙏
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